Israeli TV show interviews Keren's sister, mother

More on Rabbanit Keren thanks to Rafi at Life in Israel, who has been posting regular updates on the story. Here you can watch as the Israeli investigative program Uvda (fact) interviews Bruria Keren's mother, sister, and neighbors. According to her sister, Bruria was abused by her father as a child, and Bruria's mother admits that her relationship with Bruria was always strained. Bruria's explicit dress and provocative behavior as a young adult embarrassed the sister. Bruria met her husband at a party while they were both in the airforce. The couple gradually became more observant, with Bruria taking on more and more absurd levels of tzniut. The sister wrote many letters to authorities pleading for intervention with the children. When the social services representative was shown the correspondence on the air, she pointed out that the letters were sent to the education ministry, and that her department was not informed of the accusations.

When asked about Bruria's childhood, her mother mentioned that she had four girls one after the other but nevertheless tried to give Bruria enough love. The producers chose to end the program on a similar note, with the mother guiltily repeating that she tried to give enough love. Somehow I suspect that the father's abuse--the sister said he had hit Bruria with a rolling pin--would have been a more important factor.

In most cases of abuse both parents play a role, even if a non-violent parent "only" fails to protect the children. But it's much more fun to blame the mother.

In the current situation, there is plenty of blame to go around.

On a happier note, check out Haveil Havalim #160, the Waffles edition of the great Jewish blog carnival also at Life in Israel.

Here is Leora's flattering post about my new header.

I have gotten some delicious submissions for this month's KCC on April 7. Don't be left out.

Finally, it seems that Treppenwitz has a fan in Kenya trying to visit Israel, but the Israeli embassy is reluctant to grant a visa. Only Trep can help, but will he?

Mikveh tour

A new mikveh recently opened near my house.

You enter through a long, covered walkway. The walkway is unsightly on the outside and caused quite a bit of controversy because the proper municipal approval hadn't been obtained. It turned out that the walkway blocks the view from someone's front window. Considering how much money must have already been "sunk" into this mikveh, I can only imagine that the apartment owners were somehow compensated, and the matter died down.

You already get a hint of grandeur inside the walkway, which is decorated with rocks and plants; there is even is a fishpond.

When I got inside the building, it was nearly empty. In the other neighborhood mikveh, which contains about 14 rooms, it isn't unusual to wait 30-60 minutes.

This time the balanit told that I was going to be "mitpaneket" (spoiled), and led me to the bride's room.

Most Israeli mikvaot don't provide toiletries, but this one does. You still need to bring your own towel, or pay extra. By the way, this is a sink (I had to identify it for my husband).

Here is the best shot I could get of the small preparation room. The translucent glass doors allow sound to come through. But the other mikveh has an inefficient air-conditioning system causing unbearable noise in the summer.

I haven't figured out yet what made this room so special that it is reserved for brides. Every preparation room has the same elaborate fixtures. Come to think of it, I haven't seen any brides at the new mikveh yet. It's probably because in the other mikveh, brides (and anyone who is willing to pay extra) get a large room with the mikveh (immersion pool) right inside. Here there are only two mikvaot and five separate preparation rooms.

After you are finished, you push a button on the wall to notify the balanit (mikveh attendant). It looks just like a light-switch, so it took me a while to figure out what to do. Immediately the sound of an electronic version of Mozart's 40th began blaring. (I had to hum that one for my husband in order to identify it for you. He's the music expert around here.) In the other mikveh, you push a buzzer which sounds briefly and turns on a light on a central board with your room number. Here, the balanit tells you to turn off the music yourself before everyone goes insane.

For the record, this mikveh is supervised by the local religious authority and costs the same as every other mikveh in town- NIS 15 (about $4).

My new look

I have been wanting to update the design of this blog for a while, but I am graphically challenged (as I may have mentioned). Help arrived in the form of the talented Leora, who blogs at There Here in Highland Park. She designed this lovely new banner and suggested switching to a more readable template. I hope you all like it.

I have had fun emailing back and forth with Leora. It turns out that one of her best friends from high school became my first friend after making aliyah (and she reads this blog). Yet another of Leora's friends was my college roommate, who still visits me on her occasional trips to Israel.

Leora often highlights her artwork in her blog: See Garden slideshow, Garden watercolor, and Broccoli. And here she explains why her family attends a Sephardi synagogue.

When she's not blogging, commenting, and gardening, Leora works at http://jewishstudies.rutgers.edu/ where she puts together free online courses on Jewish topics. Currently two courses are available, The Israeli Political System and the Bible and History.

She also enjoys small freelance jobs like this one: http://www.treatmentnj.com/, and is always looking for new projects.

Leora, it has been a pleasure to work with you. My readers and I thank you.

The lesson to be learned from Keren and the rest

I've had enough of the Keren story, at least for now. While gratified by the 1500 page views I received yesterday, I hope to attract visitors through my own writing on parenting, Israel, and the Jewish community. I'm still interested in the hyper-tzniut phenomenon, and I'll continue to provide occasional updates. But I won't be speculating about the truth of the abuse allegations and the reasons it may have occurred, nor will I be scouring the press for details.

Bli neder.

Instead, we can learn a valuable lesson from the recent reports of severe child abuse. Every family needs to be part of a connected, supportive community. This is especially important for those of us who made aliyah without our extended families. Last night I attended the bar mitzvah of a boy who lived near the family of the severely abused children from Jerusalem. The children's neighbors expressed shock that such terrible things could go on without anyone noticing or reporting them. This family of recent American olim (immigrants), living in the center of the city, did not appear to be on anyone's radar. And according to reports, the abused baby from Or Yehuda doesn't have any family member with him in the hospital.

Wherever you live, there are things you can do right now to make your community stronger.

• Call up a friend you haven't seen in a while.
  
• Help someone with a new or not-so-new baby: watch older kids, clear the sink, shop, or do the car pool run. Some communities arrange meals for two weeks after birth, but an extra meal can be helpful months down the road.
  
• Don't forget other times of transition including a move, pregnancy, illness or death in the family, hospital stay, or family simcha.
  
• Some people know what kind of help they need, but others will need you to make suggestions. Remember that people are most reluctant to ask when they are at their lowest.
• Don't be intimidated by the neighbor who offers to prepare Shabbat meals for a family of ten without a second thought. You can make a different contribution.
• If you can't help with a specific request, locate someone who can.
  
• When you see people struggling with their kids, give a hand or a few supportive words depending on the situation. Then make a note to discreetly check up later.
• Actively seek out newcomers to the community and get them connected.
• Seek to set up parenting education, breastfeeding support, and other services that strengthen young families.
  
• Often the most important thing you can do is listen to and acknowledge a person's feelings of frustration, exhaustion, or anxiety. Afterward you can make suggestions or share a solution that worked for you, but avoid giving advice.
• Finally, set an example and ask for help for yourself; don't pretend to be completely self-sufficient. Allow others to have the zechut (merit) of helping you.
  

Maybe, this way, a future tragedy can be prevented.

Turning up the Heat--In the Kosher Kitchen

Update: I noted below who was already "yotzei." I received many fantastic contributions from a variety of blogs; if you got a receipt you can assume yours arrived. Please try to get it in by late Saturday night.

In my previous post I wrote about strengthening our local community. Now I am offering you a chance to strengthen your cyber-community.

On April 7 I will be hosting the next Kosher Cooking Carnival. Thanks to those who have submitted posts already, especially Frumhouse, who located a slew of interesting Pesach posts from a variety of blogs.

If recipes aren't your thing, you can submit a post on Pesach preparations, kashrut, Pesach memories, food traditions and more.

I'm naming names! We're looking forward to your contribution.

Ima Shalom (consider this a joint invitation)
Ill Call Baila
Therapy Doc
Juggling Frogs (Come back, please)
Hydrangeas are Pretty
Trilcat
Leora yotzei! (obligation fulfilled)
Frumhouse yotzei!
Sephardi Lady
Pesky Settler (who submitted a chametzdik post)
ProfK yotzei!
Raggedy Mom
Aidel Maidel
Around the Island
Mommy's Going Meshuggeneh
Ima on (and off) the Bima yotzei!
Sylvia-Rachel
Jameel
Rafi
Soccer Dad
Jack (There's your link and my request.)
Kallah yotzei!
West Bank Mama
Emahs
Safranit
Square Peg
Coffee and Chemo
My Shrapnel
Lion of Zion
Raanana Ramblings

It's Friday (despite the date of the post) so I'll stop here but please consider this a personal invitation, even if I didn't mention you.

If you like you can paste the following straight into your blog--see how easy I made it for you? I hope it works--Blogger wouldn't let me paste in the actual html.

A Mother in Israel will be hosting the next Kosher Cooking Carnival on April 7, so get cooking! Topics will include Pesach recipes, kashruth on Pesach, preparing for Pesach, Purim accomplishments and recipes for getting rid of hametz. And anything else relating to kosher cooking. You can submit your own posts here, as well as any other posts you would like to recommend. Check out the most recent one, KCC #28 over at Frumhouse. Special thanks to Batya, who organizes the whole thing.

Update--suspected abuser confirmed to be Keren

Haaretz confirms that Rabbanit Bruria Keren herself was arrested. I pretty much expected it, as the suspect's age and that of her children matched Keren's (even though the number of children was off). Also, the fact that the lawyer claimed that the whole thing was a conspiracy meant that the suspect was well-known. And the reports made it sound like she was the dominant personality in the home, and the husband was not too involved. Although this is all speculation on my part.

Rafi has more information here and here.

Link to another TV news story
Last night's links

Layered Beit Shemesh mother of 12 arrested for severe child abuse

According to news reports, a mother of twelve from Beit Shemesh was arrested for severely abusing her children, who were having incestuous relationships with one another in the home. The woman was covered in several layers of clothing and initially refused to reveal her face to the judge.

Trilcat wrote to me suggesting that this might be Rabbanit Keren herself, but there is a discrepancy regarding the number of children; previous news articles reported that she had ten.

Batya and Trilcat both emailed me the Jerusalem Post report:

The defendant, who was covered in layers of clothing, did not speak in court.

Her attorney, who successfully attained a court order barring the publication of his client's name, explained that the woman "did not speak with men," and that he would speak on her behalf, according to a court protocol of the proceedings. [emphasis Batya's]

Commenter Abbi saw the TV news and reports that the woman had on multiple layers and a shawl. She also sent this Ynet report. My translation:

The investigation began a month and a half ago when a boy called the Beit Shemesh police to complain about trauma he was enduring; in the background were sounds of breaking dishes. The police investigators and the local social services came to the house of the family, which was already known to social services. The boy who had made the complaint was removed from the house.

Sometime afterward the boy’s brother told the police of abuse and incest among several members of the family. According to suspicions, the children had sexual relations with one another in the home; the mother was aware and did nothing.

The mother is suspected of hitting the children for two years with blunt objects, including a rolling pin and electric cables. Similarly she is suspected of preventing them from getting medical treatment. One of the children had to sleep outside if he came home late. The mother maintained that this is her educational philosophy.

The social services took all of the children out of the house and brought them to different places. The police are intending to investigate the father regarding his involvement.

Rafi put the news report up on Youtube. According to the television news, the defendant refused to show her face to the court at first. Eventually she agreed to show only her eyes. The lawyer of the accused claims that the defendant did not know of any incest, and that people in the community, who don't like the way the she dresses, made up the stories.

The news report mentions two other recent incidents of serious child abuse by mothers in Israel. One involves a religious American family from a prestigious Jerusalem neighborhood, and the third mother is from Or Yehuda, a development town.

Thanks to my cyber-friends for their help with this report.

Update

Solidarity with Sderot

From Baila:

For those of you in the states, my friend Stuart Katz is organizing a four day solidarity mission to Sderot. The trip departs New York the night of April 6th and returns back the morning of April 10th. The trip costs $999 and includes the flight, hotel accommodations in Ashkelon, meals, transfers, "hizdahut" (solidarity) and a small donation to Sderot.

Stuart has organized many similar missions like this during the intifada and after the Second Lebanon War. If you can get away for a few days, I promise this trip will be well worth it. You may think the trip will help those heroes in Sderot (and it will), but believe me you'll come out of it feeling like you were the one who was helped.

In spite of the army's recent "incursion" into Gaza, Kassam rockets continue to reign down on the city of Sderot and surrounding areas. The people that live down there are true heroes. Don't believe that the only people living there are people who can't leave. Many are staying because they will not cede this land to our enemies. I have even heard of and read about people choosing to move down there now.

But those citizens need to know that their fellow Jews have not abandoned them.

For more information, contact stuart@israirusa.com or call (516) 593-1785 ext 1001, or click on the link http://www.uniquead.com/israir/march/sderot_solidarity.html.

Fake Burka Video posted

This video is clearly and obviously a fake. There are many clues, sprinkled throughout the video, showing the lack of modesty among these wanton women.

1. Because they are not wearing "shalim," the contour of their shoulders and arms are clearly visible. At one point one of the ladies shockingly lifts her arms up in the air .
   
2. They wear flesh-colored stockings (or perhaps none at all? Chas ve-chalilah).
   
3. They read Yediot Aharonot, a traif secular newspaper.
4. At minute 2:46, it is possible to view a glimpse of neck, and again a few seconds later.
5. One of the women has a cellphone on a string around her neck. Tzanua women do not speak on the street on a cellphone. See Mishbetzot Zahav Levusha where it says that this is clearly against the spirit of tznius.
6. One of the woman works outside the home, in a library (a library!!) no less. Tzanua women earn their living through home businesses.
7. One of the women is seen casually touching a boy in passing.
8. They have English initials on their robes. This is a sign of a secular taint and a serious aberration from the ancient dress of our holy patriarchs and matriarchs.
   

Hat tip: Jameel

A post about the weather, and a bit about the Jewish calendar

Today the high in Tel Aviv is scheduled to be 36° Celsius, or about 97°. Those of you who are new to Israel might think that summer has started. But spring is still ahead of us, albeit interspersed with a few more chamsinim (hot, dry spells followed by a fierce wind sprinkling a thick layer of sand over everything). My sister-in-law told me that the word chamsin comes from Arabic for 50, because it occurs during the seven weeks between Pesach and Shavuot (we're talking about Jewish Arabic speakers here, obviously). Remember that Pesach is late this year and as the first full moon after the spring equinox has just passed, we should have had our seder already. That's why some others are already celebrating their spring holiday. That crazy leap year. Anyway, we shouldn't give up on spring, my favorite time of year here in the "suburbs" of sunny Tel Aviv.

There are only three seasons in Israel: summer, winter and spring. The Hebrew word for fall, stav, means winter in ancient Hebrew. Fall doesn't exist. Spring, though, is wonderful, with cool evenings and warm and sunny days.

So while it's probably safe to put away the warm undershirts and flannel sheets after the coldest winter in years, you'll likely want access to your long-sleeved t-shirts well into May. Don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to miss them come June.

I've read that because of desert expansion, the hamsinim have not been sticking to the calendar lately. We have experienced them in December, but nothing as severe as today. In the meantime, here are some suggestions for dealing with a hamsin, or sharav as it's known in Hebrew. Feel free to add more in the comments.

• Close all of your trisim (shutters) and windows during the day. Leave a tris open a peek for light, or turn on a small electric light (preferably florescent). This will keep the sun, air and sand out, and we avoided using the a/c. Israeli homes are built to withstand the heat more than the cold, so you may as well take advantage of it. You can open everything up at night, but beware of the sand.
  
• For drinking water, we freeze half-full bottles and fill them with tap water. That way they stay cold while the refrigerator stays closed.
  
• Don't leave out any food out as it will dry up in mere seconds.
  
• You can hang laundry if you can stand being outside, but only if there is no sand. I think some veteran Israelis will dispute this one.
  

And speaking of the calendar, we're heading into the "clock of the summer" this Thursday evening. As usual, it coincides precisely with the date that Shabbat is starting to "come in" at a normal hour.

In which we send mishloach manot twice to the same family

Some organizations sell ready-made Mishlochei Manot (Purim food packages) as a fund-raiser, and last year I let my son A (now 11) buy one through school. Unfortunately he thought the goodies were for him and opened it as soon as he brought it home. This year, although I succumbed to pressure to buy another from Y's school, I was able to keep it intact.

I send packages to my English-speaking friends collectively, so I only trade actual misloach manot with a few families -- mostly parents of my children's long-term friends. I know that they appreciate homemade goods, because they generally send me the same. So I was not happy when I came home from hearing the megillah Friday and found that in return for a package containing challah and potato kugel, A had given the deliverer the prepared package from the organization.

I wanted to be able to let this go, but I couldn't have my friend think that I sent her a package of junk that I didn't even wrap myself. And the ramifications would be felt next year, when she wouldn't know whether to send me a homemade package or not. So A, who had already done quite a bit of delivering without a word of complaint, made another trip.

Sometimes Pesach is a lot easier.

Turning over a New (Blogging) Leaf

I'm planning some changes to my blog. A new banner and template are in the works.

In addition I plan is to post a short entry (almost) every day until Pesach (bli neder*). Maybe it will help me become more productive in other areas of my life as well. Or not.

As always, comments are welcome.

*I never really liked the term bli neder, a phrase indicating that the promise you are making doesn't have the status of a formal vow. Noa Yaron, a newscaster who became observant, told how her mother took her aside and said, "Let me see if I have it straight. When you say bli neder (in response to a question), it means no, and when you say be'ezrat Hashem, it means maybe." Yuck.

Happy Purim

Here's a recap of our Purim activities so far.

1. Mishloach Manot. I think I spent more time agonizing over what to put into the Purim packages than I actually spent cooking. In the end I made individual "quiche-in-a-loaf." (Don't ask me how to make that plural. And don't ask me how to make it, period; I couldn't reproduce the recipe.) Last year's rant



2. Costumes. My 6.5yo dressed up to as a police policeman. He won't let me put his picture on the blog. My little one was, appropriately, a monkey. Notice the ears and tail. Last year


3. Megillah reading. The noise level was significantly lower than usual, with almost no caps. The rabbi even made an announcement about it. Here are the low-tech raashanim (noisemakers) made by my kids.


Tomorrow will be a full day. We have some Shabbat shopping left, my husband will be reading the megillah at 9am, and as soon as my son gets home from yeshiva he will rush off to read to a relative in the hospital. We have packages to deliver. And the rabbi said we should start to eat by 11:48 PM, so that our meal won't be too close to Shabbat.

I wish you all a joyful Purim and a peaceful Shabbat.

Between Two and Four

What is the number one obstacle to remaining sane while raising small children in Israel? No, it’s not the cost of your child’s birthday party in gan.

Shhh--I'm talking about the afternoon quiet hours.

Ask any immigrant mother how she first learned about the rule requiring quiet between two and four PM. Chances are she was chastised by an irate neighbor. You can see signs in public parks, and occasionally in apartment buildings. Many offices and stores are also closed between one and four. (This is changing.) Of course well-behaved children nap at that time. But if yours are abnormal on a different schedule, it’s your job to keep them quiet.

I gradually adjusted. I learned never to have the kids' friends over before four; the parents wouldn't send them anyway but it took me a while to realize this. I made sure my toddler stayed away from the pots, except one Friday when the neighbor called to remind me. We tried to have quiet games and activities and with any luck I would stay awake. But this is what you might hear coming from my house between 2 and 4: “STOP SHOUTING OUT THE WINDOW! IT’S BETWEEN 2 AND 4!” or “DON’T CALL ME FROM THE SIDEWALK! USE THE BUZZER! YOU’LL WAKE THE NEIGHBORS!”

Fortunately our former downstairs neighbors were so noisy that I never had to worry about disturbing them. The entire neighborhood knew and despised their teenage son for blasting his stereo, and nothing seemed to help. Once, however, when I went to complain, he apologized. “Sorry, I didn’t realize it was between two and four.” Any level of noise is acceptable in the morning, late afternoon, and evening. But between 2 and 4, he turns off the music. He shows respect for his neighbors. (When my son, then 6, asked me why the neighbor played his music so loud I told him it was because he was angry at his parents. That gave him something to think about. “But why, Ima, why?”)

After nearly eighteen years of urban living in Israel, I have learned to appreciate quiet hours. Sometimes I shop, taking advantage of empty streets and stores. I may sit with my children in the park, and hope they don't shout too much. But with any luck, I'll be taking a nap. So try not to call between 2 and 4.

28th Kosher Cooking Carnival

The 28th Kosher Cooking Carnival- Dayenu edition is up at Frumhouse. I'll be hosting the next one on April 7, so get cooking! Topics will include Pesach recipes, Purim accomplishments and recipes for getting rid of hametz. And anything else relating to kosher cooking. You can submit your own posts here, as well as any other posts you would like to recommend.

And I suggest checking out Haveil Havalim:The Almost Purim Edition over at Jack's Shack.

Update on injured students

According to the secretary at Yeshiva Letzeirim, the high school next to the Merkaz Harav Yeshiva, most of the injured have been released to complete their recuperation at home. Baruch Hashem.

The names of the two students still hospitalized are:

Nadav ben (son of) Hadassah
Naftali ben (son of) Gila Rachel

Please keep them in your prayers.

An Explosive Purim? *UPDATED*

An email has been going around containing a slide show about the dangers of mild explosives. The son of the producer was injured when caps exploded in his pocket.



Thanks to Aidel Maidel for the technical help in embedding the document.

The Jerusalem Post summarizes: [The JP, perhaps erroneously, assumes that the parent in question was the father; the slide show does not indicate the sex of the parent.]

The father, who remains anonymous, said the friction from the round explosive-filled caps rubbing against each other in a pocket or held in a child's hand can easily cause them to explode and ignite. His son suffered major burns, requiring treatment with morphine, daily removal of bandages, and antibiotic creams. The process, said the father, "was a nightmare" that could have been prevented by preventing his son from getting caps.

The boy in the slide show was left with only a few scars, but my friend who works in a pediatric emergency room saw half a boy's scrotum blown off in a similar incident. The JP continues:

He noted that some of the companies that manufacture them give warnings in extremely tiny, unreadable print, and that they bear no responsibility for what happens if the caps are used "according to instructions," which include not separating caps from the plastic ring to which they are attached. The plastic melts when ignited and can cause serious damage, even though most parents, children and teachers think such caps are harmless.

Beterem, the Israel National Center for Child Safety and Health, notes that every year, dozens of children are seriously hurt by explosives on Purim, which will be marked next week (and the following Sunday, in Jerusalem and other ancient walled cities).

Ironically, our shul sent the slide show out to all its members. I say ironically, because the noisemakers used in our shul to blot out the name of evil Haman during the reading of the Book of Esther include cap guns.

I responded to the gabbai (synagogue administrator), asking whether caps would be permitted during the megillah reading. The gabbai said yes, as long as the instructions mentioned in the slideshow were followed.

We wonder whether the synagogue is planning to inspect pockets at the door.

The parent of the injured child points out that according to the warning label, caps should be kept in the original package and not handled. He or she asks whether the caps are intended to jump from the package to the pistol on their own. But according to the JP, Beterem comes short of forbidding caps entirely (Beterem article in Hebrew):

One should never use toy pistols or other arms that look like real ones, says Beterem, which also warns against using any kind of firecrackers, explosives or gunpowder. Caps should never be stored in pants pockets. Parents are urged to buy toys only at recognized stores.

We wrote back to the gabbai and pointed out that caps are not only dangerous, distracting and deafening, they detract from kedushat beit hakenesset (the holiness of the synagogue). My husband thinks it's "quixotic" of us to expect the shul to ban them completely. We haven't gotten a response.

We are part of a "Mibereshit" group of families who meet weekly to study the weekly Torah portion. When I asked my children if they prefer to go to the Mibereshit group's Megillah reading, they asked whether there would be caps. They hate the noise.

As I write this I can hear earsplitting explosions set off by neighborhood children.

More on hyper-tzniut: Shawl-wearer spotted in Borough Park

This post is available at my new location, AMotherInIsrael.com.

Our English Story Hour

My town doesn't attract a large number of new English-speaking olim, having been eclipsed by Raanana, distant Beit Shemesh and Modiin. But we now have a new attraction--an English story hour.

Our group consists of six or seven families. Some I knew before, and the rest met through our community's email list. Each week a different family hosts, chooses a book and plans a related activity. I was impressed with J, the most recent hostess. Despite having only one child, she managed to welcome the crowd and make us all feel comfortable. When I had only one or two small children I couldn't imagine inviting over one large family, much less a few small ones (most parents bring one or two children).

Today's story, The Gruffalo, is a cleverly written rhyme about a mouse who avoids getting eaten by the other forest animals and J provided materials for making a forest collage. I don't know where J got the idea, but the internet is full of activity ideas for popular children's books so non-crafty parents like myself don't have to scramble. When we hosted we read Pancakes by Eric Carle, and made pancakes. (No, I didn't have to search the internet for that idea.)

My kids (age 4 and 6) look forward to the story hour all week, and until I realized that my older children all end late that day I thought I would send them to supervise. But like all successful cooperative ventures, the story hour turned out to be as much fun for me as for the kids. I've even made some new friends, which doesn't happen often at my stage of life ("virtual" present company excluded).

We had something similar a few years ago but I never dreamed of finding enough parents to start it up again. So now all we have to do is await the influx of English speakers to our fair town. (Even though my location is an open secret, I hope you'll forgive me for being annoyingly circumspect.)

Australian-Israeli protests sexist Nazi artwork

One of the best things about making aliyah is getting to know people from all over the world. Our English-speaking community consists of Australians, Canadians, South Africans, and Brits the English.

The daughter of our Australian friends took an extended trip to visit her grandparents. While there she came across some unusual artwork:

Backpackers fume at sexist Nazi artwork

By Matt Cunningham

A NORTHERN Territory hostel displaying posters of Nazi soldiers degrading women has been accused of lacking moral judgment.

But the hostel's owner says the pictures are simply art, and are not intended to offend.

Two female Israeli backpackers were disgusted after seeing the posters on the walls in the men's toilets at Annie's Place backpackers in Alice Springs.

They made a report to the B'nai B'rith Anti-Defamation Commission which is considering further action against the hostel.

The commission's executive officer, Manny Waks, said the posters were offensive. "We deplore this kind of behaviour," he said.

"Posters of the degradation of women for sexual pleasure by men wearing Nazi uniforms is highly inappropriate and offensive to all those who suffered at the hands of the Nazis.

"It is also a poor reflection on the person responsible for the posters - it demonstrates their disrespect for women and their lack of any moral judgment."

Mr Waks said one of the Israeli backpackers had complained to the hostel's owner, Matt Mulga, and asked that the posters be taken down.

"He told her that it was his fetish and if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to look," he said. Mr Mulga admitted the pictures were "a bit out there", but said they were not intended to offend.

"As I said to the girls, it's part of an art scene and they chose to dwell on it," he said.

"I said to them 'You shouldn't have been in the boys' toilets anyway'."

Mr Mulga said the hostel had pictures of many controversial historical figures including Joseph Stalin and Chairman Mao Zedong.

My friend complained that the article chose to ignore her daughter's Australian citizenship, referring to the women as "Israeli backpackers." And they had been hired by the owner himself to clean the bathrooms in order to earn extra travel money. Now there's a way to put homemaking skills to good use.

My friends send their children to religious, single-sex schools. Yet despite having grown up "sheltered," this daughter didn't hesitate to stand up and protest the offensive pictures. Her parents should be proud.

Prayer request for terror victims

CLICK FOR UPDATED LIST OF INJURED

Please pray for the injured in yesterday's horrific attack at Yeshivat Merkaz Harav (our shul sent out a list that included the middle names; I hadn't seen them anywhere else):

Naftali ben Gila
Shimon Yechiel ben Tirza
Nadav ben Hadassa
Reuven ben Naomi
Elchanan Yosef ben Zehava

Condolences to the families of the murdered students:

Doron Mehereta, 26, Ashdod
Ro'i Rote, 18, Elkanah
Yonadav Haim Hirschfeld, 19, Kokhav HaShachar
Yochai Lipshitz, 18, Jerusalem
Yonatan Yitzchak Eldar, 16, Shiloh
Niryah Cohen, 15, Jerusalem
Segev Pniel Avichayil, 15, Neve Daniel
Avraham David Moses, 16, of Efrat

Hashem yikom damam. May God avenge their deaths.

As we ask in the musaf prayer, may the new month serve as a kapparah (atonement for our sins), and lead to our redemption.

Wishing my readers a peaceful Shabbat and a joyful month of Adar.

Upcoming Kosher Cooking Carnivals

The pre-Taanit Esther/Purim Kosher Cooking Carnival for March will be over at Little Frumhouse.
The pre-Pesach edition will take place here on April 7.

Submit recipes and other food-related posts via Blog Carnival.

Basic skills for children

Over at Conversations in Klal, ProfK writes about whether children (read girls) should be taught basic homemaking skills. In The Fine Art of Being a Balabusta Part I, she concludes that there's no point teaching girls to sew because the women she knows sew do so mainly for pleasure. Working mothers don't have time to sew, and even if they did, it doesn't pay when you factor in time.

She may be right, but I'm still not convinced that teaching children basic sewing and other neglected homemaking skills is a waste of time. By basic I mean two or three types of hand stitches, hemming, mending, and using a sewing machine well enough to make a simple item like a skirt or a pair of pajamas. This only takes a few lessons--probably 10-15 hours total. That's much less time than it takes to become proficient at a musical instrument. Now there's a useless skill--but the last time I checked it hasn't gone out of style.

In colonial times girls began sewing at four years old. Making clothes and linens took up a large chunk of the family's time and everyone's help was needed. I'm sure there were a few girls who were hopeless at it. Some people are hopeless at math, but we still teach it to everyone. I'm not saying we should devote the time to sewing that we devote to math, but sewing belongs in the category of things that most people can pick up easily.

The same applies to a wide variety of skills including sports, making home repairs, languages, gardening, financial management, and using computers. If you start early enough, most people will be able to master those skills with a reasonable level of proficiency. But if they aren't exposed, there's a good chance that they will never learn. Not because they can't (they can) but because they see it as something removed from their experience. It's a question of exposure.

I would bet that 90% of the sewers in ProfK's community learned to sew either at home or in a high school home-economics class, like I did. I stopped for while, but after I had a few kids I decided I wanted to sew nursing clothes. I already had a sewing machine so I asked a visitor to bring me a good sewing book and some bright, printed fabric, as there wasn't much selection in my town. (Unfortunately the saleswoman convinced my visitor that solid gray, which looks terrible on me, was best for a beginner.) While reviewing techniques I remembered tips that my mother had taught me about sewing. They weren't in the book, either. I sewed several outfits for myself and my daughter, and made myself a skirt less than a year ago. I don't have a good eye and will never be a great seamstress, but I can follow instructions and most of the time that's enough for excellent results. And a surprising number of my friends sew frequently, especially the ones with daughters.

We don't know where our daughters and sons will be twenty or thirty years from now. We may think we are preparing them for life by sending them to a computer chug (afterschool activity) instead of a sewing one, but we can't predict the future of the job market. The skills we teach them as children may serve as an enjoyable hobby during high school. I can think of a few ways that sewing will be useful. Maybe our children will live in an isolated community where it is hard to get clothes. Their financial situation may indeed make sewing economical, or they will turn it into a part-time business. Possibly, like the women I posted about here, they will prefer to wear unique styles. Or they will enjoy sewing so much that they become seamstresses, fashion designers, or quilters (quilting has become a serious art form). Even if they never pick up a needle again, they have had the satisfaction of wearing something they made themselves.

In our world it's unrealistic to expect all children to learn to sew--I only bring it up as an example. But we should be providing our children with a variety of practical skills even if not every one will turn out to be useful later in life.

Teens, Sex and Eating Disorders: An Interview with the Therapy Doc

Never one to turn down free professional advice, I didn't hesitate when blogger Therapy Doc suggested an interview here on my blog. Coincidentally, while "visiting" my blog TD and her husband are in Israel visiting their son in yeshiva; see here (the end of the post) and here.

Feel free to leave questions for Therapy Doc in the comments. My own questions are in bold.
Click here to continue reading.