In which I get invited to a press conference

At the NBN Bloggers Convention, we heard Bibi Netanyahu speak on the influence of bloggers.

Still, I suspect that Stephen from WebAds was surprised to receive a request from Netananyahu's staff to invite a small number of Israeli bloggers to Bibi's press conference this Sunday. In case you were worried, I'm not venturing into politics; the subject of the press conference is right on topic for this blog.

So look for my report (probably not live) from Likud Headquarters on Sunday.

Update: Find my report here.

The woman who never says hello

I have never felt completely comfortable in our synagogue. We fall within the norm for age and religious level, and even our large family is not unusual. But we are the only native English speakers, and most families send to a different elementary school. Sometimes I speak to a few of the women after shul, but I have virtually nothing to do with them otherwise.

There is one group of women who attend shul regularly and have children close in age to my younger ones. One or two are friendly to me, another one or two acknowledge my existence, but there is one who ignores me. If I catch her eye after shul, she averts her eyes. Sometimes, to make a point, I "get in her face" and wish her Shabbat Shalom. She replies and even smiles a bit. But she never greets me first.

I'm convinced that she holds no grudge against me, nor is she a snob. I am just not on her radar screen. She has her own friends, and I don't fit into her picture of her social circle. If she ever thought about me, which I doubt, she would figure I had my own friends to greet. Why would I need her?

One year we had children in the same gan. When I saw her, she treated me the same way she did in shul. Then one day we both arrived a few minutes early. Several of her friends from shul had children in the same gan, but they weren't there that day. She came over, sat down next to me, and struck up a conversation.

This year she again has a child in gan with mine, but her friends' children have all graduated. I wonder what will happen.

The kids burned my camping list. . .

in an unfortunate accident, but we managed to reconstruct it. We're six people with too many bags to count, containing food for two days and camping gear. Good thing there's no weight check involved this time. I expect to be back to blogging next week after school starts--if it starts.

NBN and Irish music

Much has been written about the various panels and speakers; for reports check the Israeli bloggers on my sidebar.

Zavi Apfelbaum of the Israeli foreign ministry mentioned Ireland as a country that had recently invested in a "brand." The Orthodox wedding I attended last week featured Irish music and most everyone (except me of course) knew how to dance to it. Coincidence?

What I have been thinking about since the conference is the relationship between Israeli and non-Israeli bloggers. Those of us who live here can present an insider's perspective on Israeli life. Whether we promote aliyah, defend Israel's policies or discuss our day-to-day lives, we know that because of our language and background our main audience will always be American (until NBN becomes even more successful, or mashiach comes, or both). We cater to that audience, or at the very least keep it in mind. Much of our feedback is from the Americans. So I enjoyed hanging out with Israeli bloggers for a while. We tend to forget how much we have in common.

For next year, I suggest small groups and perhaps one keynote address. This will allow bloggers to choose topics that interest them and give everyone a chance to talk. And we all know bloggers like to talk. Sitting in the back I became a passive spectator -- and I use the word spectator loosely; you had a better view from the webcast. But I did hear every creak of that annoying door.

Update on Keren case: Children to testify today

Thanks to Rafi for sending me this blurb from 24 Dakot, a local offshoot of Yediot.

The sensationalist headline reads:

Today: The Children against "Mother Taliban"

Four of 12 children of the Beit Shemesh woman nicknamed "Mother Taliban" are expected to testify today at the trial in which she is accused of serial abuse and neglect of her children. The letter of indictment states that for nine years, the parents beat their children and whipped them with belts and cords. They even locked the children out of the house when they did not act according to their wishes. In one case detailed in the indictment, the mother extinguished a match on her son's chest.

If you are new to this story, start here.

Updated: Links on Tzniut, Parenting

A new carnival called Parents Helping Parents is being hosted at Modern Parent.

Don't have time for the soccer game or to explain the facts of life? Help is available. "You worry about yourselves, we'll worry about your kids."Kidsourcing. (Hebrew)
Hat tip: Gila
Update: This morning, when you click on the video a message appears:

Parenting Services for Rent? Not in our school. Kidsourcing is a fictitious company. You will soon be directed to another site.

I gather that the whole thing is a clever ad campaign for Adler parenting classes, sponsored by Clalit Health Fund (Histadrut). I was wondering, because it seemed too slick to have been produced by amateurs. After viewing the ad you can go back and watch the spoof.

Modesty Blasé laments, "For the first time in Jewish history, mothers are encouraging their daughters to underachieve. They shouldn't be too pretty, too smart or too competent for fear of scaring the boys away." Smart and competent I can believe. But since when has beauty ever been a problem for Jewish girls? If she means that tzniut dress codes detract from women's beauty, that's nothing new. Read her post and tell us what you think.

How to Become a Patient Parent. Hat tip: Esther's sidebar

Selected Conversations from the NBN Conference

[General impressions on the NBN Convention will have to wait for another post.]

Rachel Yechezkel and I had planned to travel together, then agreed to try and meet at the Jerusalem Central Bus Station. Despite my bus running 45 minutes late and "resting" on the side of the highway a few times, Rachel had stuck around and we went on to NBN together. I realized we had met before, when I picked her up off the street and brought her to our book club. (I do this regularly.) Later she moved to a different town.

I noticed the nursing mother as soon as I walked in. This just had to be someone I knew. . . . Sure enough, it was Abbi. (For the record, she was nursing discreetly.) The baby fussed and made it difficult for Abbi to enjoy the panels, which in my opinion held little interest for non-bloggers (and for at least some bloggers, apparently). I mentioned both Abbi and Klara, another participating commenter, in my half-minute of fame on the webcast. (You didn't miss anything, unless you are curious about what I look like. What the heck, you can look here. I'm on the right next to Rachel; Safranit is on the other side. Notice what she's doing?)

Frum Satire and I met at the refreshment table. I've read his kiddush posts so I was sure to position myself well.

Yael, a podcast blogger, is a fan of this blog. (I had no idea.) Yael has young children and especially likes my posts on breastfeeding. She notes that I have a "lot of good stuff" in the older part of my blog.

I was disappointed to speak to Baila only briefly.

Carl and my husband go way back. According to him, his wife doesn't believe anyone reads his blog. He was afraid to tell her that he was spending half a day at NBN a week before their son's wedding.

Chana (Jenny) Weisberg admires this blog.

Rafi shared details of his camping trip--see his post for more.

Jameel made a DVD containing current episodes of Srugim, because he felt sorry for my TV-less status.

Gila now has a car and promised to visit and tour my beautiful town.

Yael (Oleh Girl) and I spoke about the next flu epidemic, which is scary stuff. I've read both John M. Barry's The Great Influenza on the 1917 pandemic, and an historical novel based on that book called The Last Town on Earth by Thomas Mullen. It's about a town that tried to isolate itself to prevent infection. Yael's comment: "It didn't work, right?"

Back in November, Yaakov Kirschen of the Dry Bones Blog, competed with me, Treppenwitz, and seven others in the 2007 Weblog Awards--Africa and the Middle East. It turns out he never even knew he was a finalist . . .

I introduced myself to Seraphic Secret, an American blogger flown in by NBN, and asked him why he wasn't on a panel. He replied that he doesn't think about marketing or traffic (the only panel relevant for non-Isrealis). "They tell me I have a large readership," he said. When I thanked him for linking to me, he said it was his pleasure and that I have a very nice blog. That pleased me enormously.

Doubletapper asked me to inform my readers that he is not an action figure. His gun looked real.

Israellycool's wife is a good friend of mine (I think that's me he's talking about here.) But after Frum Satire's comments I know better than to ask Dave to put me on his blogroll. :)

I met many other bloggers, but could not find Miriam or Elisheba.

Rachel, Lisha and I took a taxi back to the bus station. Lisha mentioned that Israelis find her "videos of the ordinary" boring, but non-Israelis love them. We noticed someone with an NBN tag, who turned out to be an oleh chadash named Gavi. Gavi thinks that running errands in Beit Shemesh is more interesting than his conversation with me, and that's his prerogative. (He may be right in this case.)

Haveil Havalim Tu Be-Av Edition

. . . over at The Rebbetzin's Husband.

Misadventures in Communication

My father subscribes to my hometown's Jewish newspaper, which I enjoy reading when I visit. A recent edition featured an obituary for an old friend of my parents. I mentioned it to my father, who hadn't heard the news. He asked me to call the widower so that he could offer condolences.

A call like this can be awkward, especially when you have read about a death in the paper and have no outside confirmation.

I located the number, identified myself to the woman who answered, and explained why I was calling. She put my father's friend on, and I began again. He appeared to understand who who was calling. The rest of the conversation went something like this:

Me: I read about your wife in the paper, and my father. . .
Widower: What about her?
Me: Um, we saw the obituary in the paper.
W: What obituary?
Me: [I confirm that I am talking to the correct person. He does not have a common name.] There is an obituary here for your wife.
W: [Convincingly] My wife is alive.
Me: Um, there must be a mistake.
W: Yes, there is a mistake. Where is that notice again?
Me: In the local Jewish newspaper.
W: Please send me a copy.

I demurred and quickly ended the conversation, without giving the phone to my father.

I checked the obituary again. One and a half columns detailed the wife's life accomplishments and listed the rabbi who had officiated at the funeral. On the same page a paid announcement from a local synagogue offered condolences to the widower.

My father was distressed by the confusion and talked about it all evening. When my sister got home, she reported that the wife had told her several years ago about her husband's Alzheimer's.

Revisiting the Misgeret, or Is Preschool Necessary

It's bound to happen at one time or another when you are out with your toddler. Your neighbor asks you the question you were wondering yourself earlier that day, as you tried to talk on the phone while your son climbed the bookcase: "Isn't he bored at home with you all day? How old is he again? [Insert any answer here.] Shouldn't he be in a misgeret?"

In honor of my 4-year-old starting gan in a few weeks (we did have an informal two-child playgroup, technically a misgeret I suppose), I share my answers to the suppositions of nosy and rude advice-givers. They don't deserve a reply. But at times we must address concerns of family members, or, more likely, we ourselves need the reassurance.

• "The child needs to get used to being in gan for half the day." Or, "She will be behind academically." When I mentioned to one mother that our three-year-olds would be in gan together the following year, she asked how I could send her when she hadn't been in gan at age two. According to this theory, children need a year in a misgeret to prepare for the next misgeret.
  
• [This one is for late talkers.] "Gan will help him learn to talk." This is just wrong. Children in gan generally spend little time talking one-on-one to an adult. And the less the child communicates through speech, the less verbal attention he is likely to get from teachers. Children develop speaking skills at vastly different ages and unless you have reason to suspect a problem, it's safe to let them develop at their own pace. Gan will not make a huge difference either way.
  
• [For olim] "The child needs to learn Hebrew." Gan-aged, immigrant children still have plenty of time to become fully bilingual. But language is a balance. If your child spends most of her day in a Hebrew-speaking environment, her English vocabulary will be smaller. And vice versa. You can teach him Hebrew yourself, or make playdates with Hebrew-speaking children, to ease the transition. But immigrants to all countries have survived the experience; emotional maturity is more important than language. [My daughter is concerned about this despite more than adequate Hebrew skills.]
  
• "He needs to play with children his own age." I question this assumption "milechat'hilah." The younger the child, the less equipped to compete with others for the attention of adults. Since making aliyah the age of starting group care has lowered, while time spent in care increased. Children learn social skills mainly from their parents, and they can play with other children while parents are present. If all neighborhood children are in gan, they can meet in the afternoon or on weekends. They don't need thirty hours a week away from parents to learn cooperative play. Unfortunately, preschool for fewer hours is unheard of in Israel. (Let me qualify that--I heard of a gan run by the city of Tel Aviv where you can leave a child on a drop-off basis.)
  
• "Immigrant children need to develop a tough, Israeli exterior." (I mentioned this here.) Okay, but at what cost? I read of a doctoral student who spent months observing three-year-olds in an Israeli gan. She reported of a complex social structure that included children bringing treats to appease bullies. The children's teachers remained unaware. When put into such an environment children may learn healthy ways of defending themselves. Others become aggressive, or conversely, withdrawn.
  
• "Aren't you bored?" Mothers are supposed to be doing adult activities, not playing games all day with their children. (See my next point.)
  
• "Do you sit with her?" I get this all the time; they are asking whether I use worksheets or teach letters and numbers. (I visited a highly-recommended gan where three-year-olds did worksheets each day.) The short answer is no; I enjoy a loose daily structure. We read, play, color, go to the park, run errands, do chores, and meet other mothers and children. The children who are interested pick up letters, numbers and even reading. They play by themselves a good deal of the time while I do "adult" things. In turn, I expect frequent interruptions.
  
• "Your child is too shy/aggressive/wild/attached to you/disobedient/spoiled/slow/bossy. It's because you don't send him to gan." Every child develops different and has personality problems challenges, even the ones who attend gan. Who doesn't? But if you keep your child home, you will be blamed for those issues.
  

Over a million American children are being homeschooled for elementary and/or high school. Surely that puts keeping a two-, three-, or four-year-old at home for another year in perspective.

(I wish I didn't need to add this caveat: I am not trying to convince parents to keep their kids out of gan, or quit their jobs. I do wish to support parents struggling with this issue.)

New blog posts can be found at A Mother in Israel.

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(Mis)Adventures in International Travel: Back to NY

After Brookside Gardens we went to Max's, a kosher deli, for lunch. My brother hoped we could sit down, but my daughter (DiI) insisted we leave for the airport. I took the food, booster seats, strollers and children onto the Metro and said goodbye to my brother and nephew.

At National the computerized Shuttle "kiosk" rejected us. We were misdirected upstairs to the regular Delta counter, with a humongous line, and at 1:10 we found the Shuttle counter. Our flight was for 1:30. At least it wasn't cancelled.

When the computer again did not show our reservations, the agent simply began to book us in manually. I told her about the threat on our trip down, and she said we wouldn't be charged. She printed out old-fashioned cardpaper tickets and boarding passes. The people behind us in line were plotzing, so the agent advised them to check in using the electronic kiosk. "That's what they're for," she informed them helpfully.

At about 1:20 we got to the security line. The inspector looked at my brand-new boarding passes, marked them for special security, and directed us to another line. It's that middle eastern thing again; I'm not sure how we escaped it on the way down. DiI still doesn't understand how they knew just from looking at the boarding passes.

The woman at the front of the newest line decided not to argue with me after I explained that we had been diverted here from another line and our flight was in ten minutes. Small children are useful sometimes. They patted us down gender-appropriately and rifled through our hand luggage. When the basket on the conveyor belt began ringing an agent gave permission to answer my cellphone; we had passed. It was my brother -- I think he realized that we may have cut it too close. I told him that if he didn't hear from us again, we were on the plane.

We replaced our shoes and ran to the gate, catching the plane about 30 seconds before the doors closed. Two passengers from the check-in line boarded right behind us. We buckled into seats in the last three rows of the plane,

My four-year-old could finally eat her hotdog.

Women Wearing White: Kosher Cooking Carnival #33:

Leora posted the latest KCC at Here in HP. You'll find a wide variety of recipes and other food-related posts.

Highlights of My Washington Trip

The nevertheless entertaining Tisha B'Av edition of Haveil Haveilim can be found over at Simply Jews.

We finally arrived in Washington. Usually, by the time I arrive at my sister's house with my small children, the last thing I want to do is get on another plane. But I decided to be brave, and flying the day after arrival was even braver. Below are some highlights.

• One day we visited museums with an old friend and her kids, and the next day we went to the zoo. Here is the 6.5-year-old elephant taking a bath; my four-year-old recently wondered whether it had turned seven yet.

• We had a mini-misadventure on the bus from the Metro. My brother rarely takes the bus so we agreed that I would call to find out where to disembark. After trying his cellphone six times I realized that I could call my sister in New York to get his home number. My sister-in-law, who unfortunately knows less about bus travel than my brother, advised me to get off immediately. We did, and had to be rescued by car shortly afterward.
• Our second mini-misadventure occurred the next afternoon, upon discovering that I didn't have exact change for the bus. Purchases near the Metro involve vending machines and unless you have change to begin with, you are stuck. I asked a woman at the bus stop for change for $5, which she didn't have. I mentioned being $0.05 short and she offered me a nickel. Even though I would have gladly done the same for someone else I felt terribly uncomfortable. Should I have spent an extra $2 to avoid accepting a nickel from a stranger? This time we got off at the right stop and managed to find my brother's house (eventually).
• My brother and nephew were available for sightseeing on our last morning. But dragging luggage, carseats, and a stroller through downtown museums seemed vaguely impractical and we could not come up with a place to stow it. So my brother suggested Brookside Gardens. I thought my children would find a botanical garden dull after Washington's other attractions, but I try to be accommodating. Especially when someone else is driving. I should have trusted my older, wiser brother who taught me serious backgammon strategy. There was a lake, turtles, catfish, bridges, and stepping stones along with plants of all types. We wanted time to stop for lunch before the flight, so we debated buying a ticket for the butterfly exhibit. And again my brother made the right move. After observing butterflies at different stages of development. Then we entered a large room filled with butterflies of all colors, patterns and sizes flitting about like, well, butterflies. Before you leave you check in a mirror to make sure none is catching a ride on your back.
• My sister-in-law and nephews are probably not used to hosting such a crowd, but you couldn't have guessed. We had fun together.
• I tracked down a cousin and ended up going to a "lechayim" for her daughter's engagement.

In case you were wondering, we did have a misadventure on our way back to New York. I hope you can handle the suspense . . .

Tisha B'Av

May we all experience a peaceful Shabbat and an easy, meaningful fast.

My new toy + Chickpea patties

Of the three suitcases I brought home from my trip, one was heavy with my latest kitchen gadget--a cast-iron griddle. (The guitar didn't arrive on time; it's a long story.) After getting the griddle home it had to be toveled (immersed in the ritual bath), dried carefully, scrubbed and dried again, coated with oil, wrestled into the oven and seasoned for an hour. Letting it cool to room temperature took several hours, at which point I gave up on it for the lunch-time pancakes.

For supper I made patties out of chick-peas. My son asked if I planned to market them to the younger kids as felafel. How could he think such a thing? I put the patties on before the griddle heated completely, so the first batch stuck a bit. Shallow edges make flipping painless, and the large cooking surface means less time at the stove. The griddle takes a while to cool down, so you can turn of the gas well before you are finished. I added a bit of extra oil, although with cast-iron you supposedly need little or none. Non-stick properties increase with use.

Clean cast-iron cookware by wiping with a rag, or washing and reapplying a layer of oil. Occasionally the cookware must be reseasoned. Keep kids away from the stove while it cools.

I love it. I'm glad my sister advised me to shlep it despite the weight.

Chickpea Patties


Ingredients:

Handful of parsley or coriander (I didn't happen to have any, but would have made a big difference.)
1 onion
2 small stalks celery
3 cups cooked chickpeas
2 eggs
1/4 cup flour
1 tsp. salt
1-2 teaspoons cumin

Instructions:

Place dry parsley in dry food processor and chop until fine. Add vegetables and chop. Add remaining ingredients and grind until blended (be careful not to overprocess). Experiment by forming a patty; it should hold together. If too dry, add another egg or a bit of water. If too watery, add flour. I'm wondering if I shouldn't have made them with soaked, raw chickpeas instead of cooked. Form into patties and place on very hot griddle (or pan). Cook until brown on both sides.

Phillipines Implements Buses with Separate Seating for Women

Breastfeeding women, that is.

This is in order to counter the Phillipines' abysmal breastfeeding rates.

Davao buses now breastfeeding-friendly

By Mai Gevera

Davao City (7 August) -- About 50 units of Metro Shuttle buses servicing the different cities in the region now have reserved seats for breastfeeding mothers.

. . . World Health Organization representative Dr. Howard Sobel joined the launching of the first-ever breastfeeding-friendly bus as well as the inauguration of the breastfeeding room stationed in the Davao City Overland Transport Terminal (DCOTT).

. . . He cited that about 82,000 Filipino children before their fifth birthday and about 16,000 die because of sub-optimal feeding habits.[I wrote the webmaster to find out the missing words.]

"Our country ranks worst among the 56 countries that were studied on their breastfeeding mothers," he said.

The study showed that only 16 percent of the 4 months old in the country are breastfed while about 15 percent have never even tasted a drop of breast milk.

An 85% initiation dropping to 16% at age four months? I wonder if separate seating will make a difference.

Interview with an Orthodox Sex Therapist: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum

Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum is a physical therapist who also specializes in sex counseling and treatment of sexual problems. She is one of few such therapists within the religious community in Israel. She has graciously agreed to answer a few questions.

Mother in Israel: When I took a group class on Taharat Hamishpacha before my marriage, the teacher refused to discuss sex explicitly. She said that the couple, with patience and kindness, would learn from each other. What do you think of this approach? Are things changing? How long does it take for most couples to work things out in the beginning?

Talli: I think it is unfortunate. Patience and kindness is nice, but if sexual education is not provided by madrichim and madrichot (counselors who teach brides and grooms Jewish law relevant to marriage), couples will look for it through other resources, including the internet and books. Some of what they find may be OK, but much of it may be misinformation, or not culturally sensitive to Orthodox people.

I do think that things are changing, and there are many more madrichim and madrichot talking to young people about sex. As for your last question, that would depend on what you mean by "work things out." Do you mean, figure out how to have intercourse? Figure out how to enjoy sex? Figure out what the partner wants? The sexual relationship is ongoing, and so couples are working things out throughout the marriage.

MiI: Can you give an estimate about the percentage of couples in the Orthodox community who need outside help? How does that compare to the general population?

Talli: Interesting question, which requires empirical research to answer. My colleagues and I did a study on this and found that the rates for dysfunction are slightly higher than in the general population, and in our sample, the rates for seeking psychological treatment of some sort were fairly high as well. However, our sample was highly educated, and this group tends to seek treatment in greater number. So the short answer is no, I can't.

MiI: What are the factors that make the beginning of a marriage and sexual relationship more challenging for observant couples?

Talli: In the Orthodox community sexuality is not generally viewed as a developmental process, but rather as something that becomes relevant once you are married. This is challenging for many reasons. One is that young people are often at a loss regarding how to deal with their sexual feelings, may be used to repressing them, or feeling guilty about them, and then suddenly need to view those feelings and experience them differently. . Another, is that the expectation to go from complete sexual inexperience to complete intercourse in one or two nights is a difficult one. Finally, the transitions in the beginning from no touching at all to being sexual are often very difficult for a newly married couple . . . especially after that first time when they have to separate.

MiI: How common is sexual activity before marriage in our community?

Talli: I don't think that has been studied.

MiI: Where can a young couple turn when they are having sexual issues?

Talli: Sometimes they can speak to their madrichim and madrichot. Depending on the community (modern orthodox, haredi, etc,) there are various organizations that can be helpful such as Machon Puah. But overall, there are not readily available resources to deal specifically with issues of sex.

MiI: How can parents better prepare their children for marriage?

Talli: I believe in modeling positive behavior and so I think that children who experience parents who are loving and affectionate to one another, or give each other a hug or kiss , will get the message that sexuality is a positive and natural part of marriage. Haredim tend not to to show physical affection in front of children, but the message can be conveyed through warm and loving verbal behavior as well. If a parent never talks about sex, it will feel weird once the child reaches marriage age to hear their parent even mention it. Parents need to convey the message to their children from a young age, that this is not a taboo subject . Children's questions on the subject should be answered in an honest and age appropriate manner.

MiI: What can we do as a community to promote better sex education?

Parents can request that religious schools include a culturally sensitive sex education program. There have been such programs developed for modern orthodox schools.

Community members can organize lectures for shul sisterhoods on the subject of intimacy. These are just a couple of examples. Perhaps the readers of your blog can come up with some ideas of their own.

MiI: How did you get into this field?

Talli: While treating women with intimate problems related to the pelvic floor, such as incontinence, I found that many women had questions about sex and no one to ask. Women (and men) want to know what is "normal." I mainly got in to this field, though, because as a physical therapist, I was seeing women having pain with sex, or inability to allow intercourse. This is still an area that I work with, mostly. But you can not just treat the pain without understanding the context, and knowing how to relate to the multiple issues involved, including the woman's feelings about sex, her anxieties, and the marital relationship. So I still treat as a physical therapist but also provide sexual counseling.

MiI: What do your children tell their friends about what you do?
Talli: Let's just say it is certainly a topic of conversation amongst them, for better or for worse.

MiI: Are there any other questions I should ask?

Talli: You can ask me how one can go about seeing me. My email is tallr@netvision.net.il I can be reached at 0 50 5 689 572 for appointments. I see clients in Jerusalem, Bet Shemesh and Tel Aviv. My website is www.physioforwomen.com

MiI: Thank you, Talli, for visiting and sharing your thoughts.

Parents fly to France and forget 3-year-old in airport

Thanks to Jameel for sending me this story.

Update: Super Raizy provides the link to the story in English at Haaretz.

Parents flying on a summer vacation from Tel Aviv to France today left one of their children in the airport. Authorities found the child wandering, half an hour after the plane took off.

The parents arrived late at the airport and checked in quickly. Ynet (Hebrew) reports that the parents will be investigated when they return.

Having just flown alone with three children, I can't understand how this happened. I had four American passports, four Israeli passports, four tickets, and four boarding passes. Four seats. I must have counted those things twenty times. How could they go through passport control and not notice her passport wasn't examined? Surely she wasn't holding it herself. Didn't they notice an extra boarding pass when they got to the gate? "I thought she was with her father and he thought she was with me" doesn't work here.

And I guess the airline, "Sun-Dor," isn't so careful about making sure that all of the passengers got onto the plane, for security reasons.

The authorities said this has never happened before. Completely mind-boggling.

The Jewish/Israeli Blogger's Convention List of Registered Attendees

Anyone who reads more than one or two Jewish blogs knows about the upcoming Nefesh beNefesh Blogger's Convention in Jerusalem.

Despite my "protekzia" at NBN I was not asked to be on a panel; my traffic ratings didn't make the cut. But I love playing hostess, and am curious about who else is planning to attend. If you are registered, please leave a comment or send me an email so I can list you below. I won't list any blogger without permission.

Here are the bloggers who will be speaking, according to the NBN website:

Treppenwitz
Jewlicious
IsraelMatzav
Hirhurim
Israellycool
Esther Kustanowitz
Oleh Girl
My Shrapnel
My Right Word
WhatWarZone
Frum Satire
Kumah

Other bloggers attending:

A Mother in Israel
Dr Savta
Trilcat
Raw Material
Isramom
Me-Ander
Jameel and Jameela
Live from Israel
Life in Israel
Sabra Heart
El Sabor del Rimon
Aliyah Blog
Ill Call Baila
Lurker
Mere Rhetoric
Jerusalemite
Every Day and Its Challenges
Ahuva (microblogger)
Tafka PP
Abbi (commenter)
RivkA
Mystical Paths
Random Thoughts
Double Tapper
Joe Settler


And you???

Blog notes

I want to thank Leora for including me as one of seven favorite bloggers in her blog challenge. Leora will be hosting KCC this month so please send her your food-related posts.

Welcome back to Shifra and Juggling Frogs. We missed you. Check out JF's original new blog carnival.

Mazal tov to Jacob Da Jew on the birth of a baby boy.

Frumhouse wrings out the Dirty Laundry Edition of Haveil Havalim.

The Rebbetzin's Husband found a website that rates blogs based on objectionable content. I'm proud to report that yours truly received an R rating. Just wait until you see my upcoming interview with an Orthodox sex therapist. (I interview her and not the other way around--what did you think?)

Lion of Zion posted about supplementation of breastfed babies with Vitamin D.

And here's a bonus: Nadneyda, a new Israeli blogger.

(Mis)Adventures in International Travel: Delta and El Al Stand Off

In my last post I was on my way to the airport.

We had reservations for the 5:30 shuttle to Washington, and it looked like we might even catch the 4:30. But when I presented our e-tickets, the Delta agent said our new reservations didn't show up on her computer. "You don't have a reservation for this flight."

She poked some more into the computer and found us still listed on the original flight. And darn it, there wasn't anything she could do. She could make the change herself, but we would be charged another change fee and full-price shuttle fare, adding up to over $440 per ticket. She doesn't know what El Al did, but they didn't do what they were supposed to when they changed the ticket. She gave the unmistakable impression that this wasn't her problem.

Traveling internationally these days requires nerves of steel, I tell you.

I asked the agent for El Al's number. I managed to reach the agent who had changed the reservation. Why, I am sure you are asking, didn't the Delta agent offer to do this? I leave that to your imagination. The El Al agent asked to speak to the Delta agent. The Delta agent was not convinced, as she still could not find our new reservations. She handed me back the phone. The El Al agent put me on hold. "Round one to Delta," I reported to my daughter. The El Al agent came back on and asked to speak to Delta again. The Delta agent punched a bunch of numbers into her computer and managed to pull up my reservation.

Round two to El Al. We would go on the plane. The 6:30 plane, that is, because the 5:30 was cancelled. The shuttle ain't what it used to be.

The agent printed up our boarding passes, and then two other agents pored over the screen. (There were about four agents who seemed to have nothing to do. Contrast this to the single agent I would find at National, which admittedly handles fewer flights.) "I see the problem," one said. "You're not hooked in." She punched in more numbers and "hooked in" each of the new reservations. "There, you shouldn't have any more problem." "This won't happen again on our return flight?" "No," she assured me.

The departure lounge was comfortable enough. It's a good thing I ignored my brother-in-law who made fun of me for for taking food for the 45-minute flight. We had left my sister's home at around 3:30 and got to my brother's after 8:00. (Actually, the terminal seemed to stock quite a selection of kosher food.)

There was one bright spot: Despite our flight having originated in the Middle East, we passed under the radar, so to speak, and avoided going through "special security." Miracles do happen.

(Mis)Adventures in International Travel: A long life

A year ago my sister's energetic and charismatic mother-in-law, still living on her own, was diagnosed with incurable cancer. It was sad to hear of this 96-year-old woman suffering at the end of life.

My sister called a few days before my trip to tell me that her mother-in-law had stopped eating. She died at her home the morning I arrived.

Usually I stay in New York when I visit, but this year I had arranged to visit my brother in Washington. He agreed to have us come a week earlier than planned, so I changed our reservations in order to leave after the funeral the next day. After paying the airline's fee, we received e-tickets with the new dates. We would return to New York after the bulk of the family had left my sister's house, where the shiva would take place.

At the funeral my brother-in-law spoke about his mother's passion for her grandchildren. She bragged about them to no one but their parents, because telling people outside the family would only make them feel bad. Her grandson spoke about her giving him a check for $100.25. When he inquired about the odd sum she replied that the hundred dollars was because she loved him. The $0.25 was so that he would "call her sometime."

I blogged here about the compassion and assistance of my sister's in-laws during another international trip. My sister's mother-in-law had a warm place in her heart for my family, and despite the "balagan" of arriving in the midst of everything I was glad to be at the funeral. My children stayed with my father and his helper.

About thirty people returned to lunch at my sister's, but I didn't have much time before leaving for the airport. Amazingly, my sister found a ride for the four of us with a couple on their way back to Manhattan. They were happy to fill their van, now that their children are mostly grown. I sympathized; our own van is rarely full these days.

To be continued . . .