War in Gaza: Report from the Home Front

Some bloggers thrive on war news. They excel at live blogging, or explaining Israel's point of view to the world at large. Neither approach works for me, as I avoid political discussions and have no inside information. And since my town is not directly affected, I find it difficult to write about the home-front situation. But here is my contribution.

I found out about the operation Shabbat afternoon, from a neighbor whose son is an officer. He was in training exercises all day Friday, and was ordered to appear at the airport on Shabbat at 3PM. The family had to make arrangements for someone else to pick up the car after Shabbat. During lunch he took calls from his soldiers, who apologized profusely for calling on Shabbat. When his mother asked whether he'd be coming home this weekend, he said it wasn't likely.

I've spoken to a couple of friends who are in the range of the rockets, including one who has been experiencing kassam rockets from Gaza over the years. Now, she hears our attacks in Gaza. She is relieved that action is being taken, but there is an additional emotional toll. "Hannah," she said, "You have no idea what one of those explosions sounds like. Even when you know it's your side, your heart just flips over."

My son in yeshiva is also in rocket range, and has had to go into a shelter a couple of times. He's pretty blase about the whole thing so I guess I will be too, at least on his behalf.

If you'd like to help, Treppenwitz provided a list of worthy medical organizations. In addition, I've been getting updates about the action in the south from Connections Israel. Here is one of the recent emails:

Operation Cast Lead, Israel's response to almost eight years of unending rocket attacks in Sderot and its surrounding environs, is in full gear. We must remember what effect this situation has on residents of the south.

Chanukah vacation, which was spent predominantly indoors, has now moved into bomb shelters for the foreseeable future; shopping malls are forbidden to open; schools are closed indefinitely.

The sounding of the Code Red alert now screams through additional communities on a constant basis, followed by loud booms, smoke and fire.

Children and adults, who have tolerated this situation for so long are at their wits end. Being cooped up in small spaces drains everyone of their coping abilities and adds new levels of stress.

If your relative or friend were living under these circumstances, you certainly would spare no expense to get them some relief. Kol Yisrael Achim - we are all brothers. Help us give our brothers some respite from their living conditions.

Operation Take-a-Break is underway. We are sponsoring full day respite trips for the residents of the south. Bus loads of individuals will be given a "day off" to engage in relaxing, fun and age appropriate activities out of the line of fire. Each bus costs $500. In other words, for just $10 you can make a real difference in the life of an individual. Better yet, sponsor an entire bus and spare a community!

To donate visit Connections Israel, and subscribe to updates here.

Subscribe in a reader

Hanging Stockings--an American Chanukah Custom?

From the Motherlode blog at the New York Times, on Jewish couples who have conflicts about holiday customs similar to those of intermarried couples:

I heard recently from Tami Kamin-Meyer, a lawyer with two sons, ages 10 and 14, living in Columbus, OH. “Both my husband of nearly 16 years and I are Jewish,” she wrote in an e-mail. “But his brand of Judaism is far more American than mine. My family is Israeli, and while I am a first generation American, my celebration of Jewish holidays, including traditions and attitudes, are closely aligned with Israeli customs rather than American.” When their first child was born, her husband wanted to hang stockings in the living room, but she did not. (They don’t.) He is more comfortable with prayers and holiday songs in English, which she prefers them in Hebrew. (They incorporate a little of both.)

I didn't know that hanging stockings is a Jewish-American Chanukah custom. But then I've been away a long time.

(I am being sarcastic here, but I guess it didn't come through. Sarcasm doesn't work so well on blogs.)
Subscribe in a reader

Some Chanukah links

Chanukah Sameach! My camera is broken and I'm too lazy to scour the net, so you will have to manage without the traditional picture. As compensation I present some links.

• Standing Together has ideas for supporting Israeli soldiers this holiday.
• Breeding Imperfection shares a sad tale of allergy and (non) inclusion. Parts I, II and III.
• Lion of Zion posted my husband's quiz. One of the the answers appeared in last week's Torah portion--you can find the other two in Neviim (Prophets) and Ketuvim (Writings).
• The head of social services in Beit Shemesh was removed from his position by the new mayor for failing to act in the notorious child abuse case. The children's aunt had alerted social services numerous times. (Hat tip: Rafi)
  
• Haveil Havalim (better late than never) is over at Jack's.

Subscribe in a reader

Updated: Lessons for Life: Rude Pizzeria Owner Lambasted on Internet

Who could imagine that a rude storekeeper would attract such attention in our little country, never admired for its warm customer service?

According to financial magazine Globes, a woman came with her autistic child into a pizza store for a lesson in practical living, giving him a 20-shekel bill and instructing him to buy a slice of pizza and a can of tomato juice. The store owner helped another customer instead, despite the boy having stated his order three times. Finally the owner told the boy's mother, "This isn't a school." The mother put the story into an email decrying the owner's rudeness toward children with special needs and included his name and address. Thanks to the internet (she only sent it to fifty of her closest friends), the email spread far and wide and the pizza store owner was harassed. Mothers came into the store, dropped off a copy of the email, and left. Garbage was thrown. 25,000 members joined a Facebook group advocating a boycott of the store.

The Globes reporter was the first party to ask owner Shraga Gross for his version of the story. According to Gross, three mothers came in with their autistic children for this life lesson. The mothers did not coordinate with the store, and chose a time when it was full of customers. Gross claims that the boy did not utter a word, but he did tell the boy's mother, "This is not a school." He admits that he may have been impatient but objects to the personalized campaign against him.

Whichever version is correct, Gross didn't commit a crime. I've been ignored and treated badly by storekeepers and I'm not even autistic. It seems to me that learning that not everyone will go out of their way to be kind to people, whether or not they have special needs, is an important life lesson.

Hat tip: Commenter Keren
For another example of Israeli customer service see Benji's post here.

Update: I don't condone rude behavior. However, the mother was out of line in publicizing the storekeeper's name because of one isolated incident. It's not like the store has a policy that discriminates against autistic children. If she would have e-mailed the story without mentioning the name I would support her 100%.

Subscribe in a reader

Bamba not related to mysterious deaths of toddlers

Over the last few weeks, four toddlers have gotten ill and died suddenly of mysterious causes. Two children remain hospitalized; one is recovering and one is still in intensive care. The Health Ministry debated over whether to announce that they are investigating the deaths as they didn't want to induce panic. But if word got out about the investigation, the ministry would be accused of withholding information. They are awaiting final lab results but so far there no connection has been found among the children, who came from different parts of the country and had different symptoms. It seems to be a statistical anomaly, and at least one of the children had previous health problems.

Earlier this week an email rumor began circulating claiming that the deaths were related to contaminated Bamba, the heavily marketed children's snack food. One email forwarded to me this morning was about an uncle working in Superpharm who received a call asking him to take Bamba off the store's shelves.

Manufacturer Osem's stock dropped six percent in the stock market as a result of this rumor. My readers know that I am no fan of Bamba. But as a pediatrician friend pointed out, if even one batch of Bamba caused illness Israeli hospitals would be full to capacity with sick children. Negative health effects of Bamba, Bisli, Crembos and other snacks marketed to children are only incremental.

Jameel also wrote about this story.


Subscribe in a reader

Breastfeeding and Judaism: Why Moses' Mother Didn't Put Bottles into the Ark of Bulrushes

Below is the first post in my series on breastfeeding for the Israeli environmental blog Green Prophet.

The Torah doesn’t talk much about breastfeeding, as it was taken for granted in ancient times. Moses’ mother doesn’t put bottles into the ark of bulrushes she sends down the Nile to save him from Pharaoh’s evil decree (Exodus 2).

According to the midrashic commentary Moses refused to nurse from an Egyptian nursemaid, so the biblical text has Pharaoh’s daughter sending for a Jewish one. The nursemaid turns out to be none other than Yocheved, Moses’ own mother.

If the Torah and Midrash saw breastfeeding as merely a feeding method, Moses would have nursed from an Egyptian woman and the story would have ended. The rabbis recognized that without the early influence of Yocheved, Moses could not grow up to become the modest, compassionate, and dedicated leader who rescued the Jews from slavery and turned them into a nation that rejected Egyptian immorality.

An emotional bond

Mothers (and all who care for the baby), do not only tend to a baby’s physical needs. By comforting her baby in distress, a mother models empathy. A baby learns language, tone, and communication while hearing her mother’s voice. Resting in his mother’s arms, a baby gauges her emotional state as she responds to what is going on around her. As babies grow, they observe their mothers at their daily tasks and begin to imitate them. Breastfed babies must stay near their mothers, and this closeness ensures that they receive regular, if not constant, contact and interaction that all humans crave.

In our generation anyone can mix powder and water to feed a baby. One reason this option has become dominant is that our culture values independence for both adults and children. Diane Wiessinger, an American breastfeeding advocate who recently lectured in Israel, pointed out that in the media babies are often depicted alone, an unnatural condition for babies.

When my friend’s daughter told her teacher that her mother couldn’t come to a school party alone because she is nursing the daughter’s 2-month-old brother, the teacher suggested “leaving the baby with a bottle of Materna (the Israeli brand of formula).” With this kind of cultural attitude, adjusting to and accepting a baby’s intense dependence can be difficult for new parents.

The Talmud also emphasizes the importance of breastfeeding. A mother is considered a “meineket,” or nursing mother, until her child reaches 24 months. Even if a baby has weaned, he or she can return to nurse at any time until the age of two. Between the ages of two and four years, or five if the baby is unhealthy, a child who has weaned for longer than 72 hours may not return to the breast, and age five is considered the limit for nursing in Jewish law. The mother is advised to begin on the left side, “close to the heart.”

A difference of opinions

Rabbis differ about whether the laws relating to a meineket still apply today, when babies are usually not dependent on breastfeeding for survival. Some rabbis grant an exemption from fasting on minor fast days to all mothers with children under two, whether or not the mothers are currently nursing.

According to the Talmud, widows or divorcees with nursing babies under two may not remarry. The concern is that the husband will naturally want his new wife to bear his child, and the new pregnancy could lower the mother’s milk supply and potentially harm the existing child. One friend who lives in a haredi community told me that her husband’s rabbi advises all of his students to practice birth control until their children have turned two. And the rabbi of another haredi friend does not permit women in their community to wean earlier without a medical reason.

Future posts will discuss practical aspects of successful breastfeeding, Israeli government and hospital policies, and how to support breastfeeding mothers.

Reprinted with permission from Green Prophet.

Subscribe in a reader

Jpix Jewish and Israel Photo Blog Carnival #21

Welcome to the December 8, 2008 edition of JPix, the Jewish Photo Blog Carnival.

Let's take a moment to remember the victims of the Mumbai massacre, through a photo collage: Leah Lipszyc presents In Memoriam. Gabi & Rivky Holtzberg H"YD posted at chossid's photoblog.

And now for the rest:

Israel

Muse presents Jerusalem! Elections posted at Shiloh Musings, along with a video of Jerusalem.


Baila presents Modiin Sky Watch posted at Ill Call Baila.

Batya presents Israeli Municipal Elections--Pictures Plus! posted at Shiloh Musings.

Risa presents Ripe Red Sabras posted at Isramom, saying, "On a trip to Jerusalem I photographed these sabras and sent my first Ruby Tuesday entry."


Miriam was brave and traveled to Israel with her triplets. You can find the pictures at Tripletly Blessed.


Rahel presents Olive Oil posted at Elms in the Yard.

Batya presents And Today, An Earlier Start and More Walking posted at me-ander.

Rahel presents Beeline posted at Elms in the Yard.

Risa presents Waiting for a Bus as the Sun Was Setting at Isramom.

Jacob da Jew presents Caesar II My New Fish and 4 Years Ago at Jacob da Jew.


Shira Salomone presents her favorite shots of the Kotel at On the Fringe.

I posted about a sculpture going up in my neighborhood: On Hoopoes, Black Cats, and Dodecagons. In reply to my inquiry, the city said that there was more than one complaint about the sculpture, and that they are going to replace it with plants.

Judaism

Leora Wenger presents Parshas Lech Lecha posted at The Jewish Side, saying, "Babysitter included my stars watercolor on her parsha post. I'm an illustrator! ;-)"

Muse presents Wheels posted at me-ander.

The Wolf presents Sunflower Arrangements and Depth of Field at Wolfish Musings.

Out and About

Shira Salomone presents Bridges at On the Fringe--Al Tzitzit.

Ricki's Mom presents The Horse that Went to the Zoo at Beneath the Wings.


muse presents Jerusalem Street Fair posted at me-ander.

Akiva presents Mistransigulations posted at Mystical Paths.

muse presents Jerusalem's Public Art posted at Shiloh Musings.

rickismom presents The Horse That Went to the Zoo posted at Beneath the Wings.

Leora Wenger presents Fall Foliage In Highland Park posted at Here in HP.

Mimi presents Suspicious Object « Israeli Kitchen posted at Israeli Kitchen.

Trips

Two Jewish bloggers visited Jewish sites in Europe.

Leah Lipszyc presents Kvarim Trip 5768 1 or Ukraine in the Rain - chossid - Photoblog.com posted at chossid's photoblog.

Leah Lipszyc presents Kvarim Trip 5768: Kiev, Berditchev, Annipoli - chossid - Photoblog.com posted at chossid's photoblog.

shorty presents Outside the Jewish Museum in Munich posted at Shorty's Adventure, saying, "I was not allowed to bring my camera inside the museum. There were so many remarkable things about this place - the history of the Jewish population in Germany, how the curator acquired the pieces. The museum is a beautiful demonstration of the strength of the Jewish spirit not just to survive but in the words of a Holocaust survivor I recently met - as "victors"."

Thank you to all of the contributors, and to Frumhouse for coordinating the hosts.

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of
j pix - jewish photo carnival
using our
carnival submission form.

Past Jpix Carnivals:

#20 at Here in Highland Park.

#19 at Me-Ander.

Rafi at Life in Israel will be hosting January's edition.
Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Technorati tags: j pix - jewish photo carnival, blog carnival.

Subscribe in a reader

Matching socks--out. Coordinated socks--in.

An American company has determined what experienced mothers have known for a long time: Matching socks are not a fashion priority. In fact, it's more fashionable to have mismatched (but coordinating) socks--sold in threes instead of in pairs.

I guess I won't have to complain about this anymore.

An impressive gimmick. I wish I had thought of it. But I suppose you can't put one sock from one set of three with another set. Can you imagine trying to sort these in the laundry?

Hat tip: Commenter Abbi.

Subscribe in a reader

"Takana" finds against Sylvie Dahari, founder of Megeirot

Makor Rishon reported Friday that Takana, a forum for for handling sexual harassment by authorities in the Orthodox community, publicized its conclusions about the behavior of Sylvie Dahari, known as the founder of the Megeirot method.

The forum's committee of six, including Rabbi Elyakim Levanon, Rabbi Avi Gisser, Rabbi Yuval Cherlow, Dr. Shlomit Lehman, Mrs. Tami Samet and Mrs. Malka Piotorkovski, met five times and listened to long hours of detailed testimony from men and women. The committee determined that Dahari controlled her students and took advantage of their weaknesses, fears, and admiration, by "creating absolute dependence among her students accompanied by verbal and emotional insults, fomenting discord between students, and ostracizing them. Sylvie sometimes said that her words came to her as a revelation from Heaven and a true godly epiphany."

The forum also determined that she interfered in the intimate family lives of students of the method, leading to possible psychological and physical damage to children and to the family structure. It also criticized her for "taking advantage of her authority over a student in order to build an inappropriate relationship with the student's husband; developing relationships having sexual overtones with several of her students through taking advantage of the dependent and authoritative relationship; and taking money and belongings for personal use."

Dahari was contacted several times to appear before the forum, but refused.

Subscribe in a reader

Did we kill the plants already?

The day after I posted about our container garden, our friend Maier warned us about using recycled water. Some "gray" water is safe for the garden, but not all. I found this Australian government website containing the following guidelines:

‘Black water’ is water that has come in contact with toilet wastes. Black water has to be chemically treated and disinfected before it can be reused. General cautions include:

* Never use water that has come in contact with the toilet, or any other toileting fixture such as a bidet or urinal.
* Don’t use water that has been used to wash soiled nappies - this is also considered black water.
* Don’t reuse the water when you wash domestic pets, because of the high level of bacterial contamination.
* Don’t use grey water from the kitchen, as this can be contaminated with grease, bacteria and chemicals.

Common contaminants in grey water
If it is not used properly, grey water can make the householders ill and kill off the plants you are trying to care for. Some of the common contaminants in grey water include:
* Salts
* Food materials

* Household detergents, soaps and chemicals
* Bacteria and other disease-causing microbes.

Health risk comparison:
The health risks to you and your family depend on how you use grey water. Examples include:
* Laundry rinse water is low risk, while grey water from the kitchen is high risk.
* Sub-surface irrigation pipes are low risk, while hosing the garden with grey water is high risk.
* Using grey water on ornamental plants is low risk, while using it on vegetable gardens is high risk.

I'm not sure why laundry detergent is considered less of a problem than dishwashing detergent. If you plan to use gray water for plants I recommend reading all of the guidelines at the site.

When I told my son not to water with kitchen water, he was distraught. "You mean we killed them already?" He needn't worry, as the first pea plant has sprouted.

Speaking of the environment, a revised version of my post on traffic circles appeared at the environmental blog Green Prophet.

Discussion on my other guest posts is still going strong over at Orthonomics and Crunchy Domestic Goddess.

Subscribe in a reader

On Hoopoes, Black Cats, and Dodecagons

A few months ago, the city began to erect a traffic circle at this dangerous intersection. Work stopped temporarily when residents of a neighboring street sued the city out of concern for the extra traffic in front of their homes. I am more concerned about the safety of the intersection, but I realize other issues are involved. My daughter fears the traffic circle will make it harder to cross the street on her way to school, when there are a large number of cars. She won't be able to judge which cars are headed toward her as they go around the circle.

The city puts a sculpture, or garden, in each traffic circle. I found the one above next to the bus stop on my way to Tel Aviv last week. A worker noticed me with the camera, so I asked him what he thought. He replied with some unpleasant comments about the mayor. Then I realized that an element seemed to be missing from the sculpture. (I'll wait while you congratulate me on my artistic perception.) So I asked about that, too.

It turns out that a statue of a black cat had been placed on the rock at the base of the dodecagon. When a woman living in an apartment nearby called the city and yelled that she didn't want to see that cat there every day, it was removed. Apparently a columnist complained about it too.

If you look closely you can see the hoopoe, now Israel's national bird, at the top of the figure. Several traffic circles feature hoopoes in various poses. I wonder whether the cat was supposed to be contemplating the bird for its next meal? The worker suspects that since the mayor was reelected, we shouldn't expect a replacement for the cat.

In the meantime they restarted work on my traffic circle and I am anxious to see what artwork will appear.

Subscribe in a reader

Our Israeli Container Garden

The second floor of our apartment has a large, sunny porch. At one point we had a thriving herb garden, which now contains only a geranium, some sad-looking rosemary, and a miniature citrus tree. I am gratified that the tree survived long enough for us to enjoy the single kumquat, since we couldn't eat the fruit until the fourth year of neta revai (see the fourth paragraph here for more explanation). That tree came close to dying more than once.

After picking the kumquat we had to let it be hefker, or ownerless, because it had kedushat shvi'it, the holiness of the sabbatical year. (All fruit from trees that bloomed after last Tu beShevat have this status). We had to leave it in a place where others could take it if they liked. We put it out in our living room with a sign, and, when we remembered, pointed it out to visitors. No one took it, but the kumquat got slightly smushed. We should have another chance soon.

A, age 12, has been nudging me to start planting again. Since he had a day off from school yesterday, we went into town and bought seven bags of seeds: Shallots, thyme, "baby mix" (even though the storekeeper said he didn't have any lettuce), garden peas, basil, sage, and broccoli. Mimi donated a package of chamomile.

At home we collected the old pots and soil from the dead plants, saving the dried branches and leaves for compost. In a large bowl, A mixed the soil with dried compost from two years ago (another project we need to revive). He placed broken china into the bottom of the pots so that the roots wouldn't sit in water, and refilled the pots. He swept up the dirt and called me to help decide which seeds to plant in each pot. The two smaller children helped with the planting. Then A labelled the pots.

We placed the containers in a partially shaded spot to minimize evaporation, since the forecast is for another hot and dry week. I wonder if we should bring them inside until they sprout.

I am resolved to use only recycled water for this garden. The challenge is to collect the water and get it up to the second floor. I placed a dishpan in the kitchen sink to collect used water, and poured it through a strainer into a bucket. Straining the water might not be necessary as small amounts of vegetable matter can only help the plants.

My husband and I think that we can also use recycled water for the first cycle of the washing machine.

I would like to hear readers' suggestions about container gardening and conserving water. Fern's blog, Life on the Balcony, is an excellent resource for container gardeners.

Subscribe in a reader

An emotional week

Our thoughts are with the families of the victims of the horrific massacre in Mumbai.

In other sad news, and the mother of Rivka at Haazina Tefilati is ill with cancer.
Condolences to Ricki's Mom at Beneath the Wings, who lost her father.