What can I get for you today, contraceptives? Or a suppository?

Are you the kind of person who wonders what other people in the drugstore are buying?
If so, you'd like my health fund’s drugstore. Here, pharmacists must locate antibiotics and blood pressure medication on their own, but drawers containing ointments, contraceptives and suppositories are labeled in two languages. At least they don't have a drawer marked “pregnancy tests.”


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Link for list of injured soldiers and civilians who need prayers

List of injured Israeli soldiers and civilians, updated daily.

This is a sticky post and will remain at the top. Scroll down for recent posts.

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Ynet: Screaming babies ignored in Israeli maternity wards

In a personal column in the health section of Ynet, clinical psychologist Yair Tzivoni describes his experience in the hospital after his wife gave birth. While she went with a friend to the maternity ward, he brought the new baby to the nursery to await washing, blood tests and immunizations. His own daughter slept, but others screamed. The babies were supervised by one nurse, busy with her routine tasks. She completely ignored the crying babies.

Click here to continue reading.

View all posts at the new location, AMotherinIsrael.Com

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Exclusive: Official Haredi Guide to Modest Necklines

This document is entitled: "Common Pitfalls Regarding Necklines." At the bottom (cut off) it reads: These pages have been viewed by Rabbi Nissim Karelitz Shlit"a and Rabbi Moshe Shaul Klein Shlit"a from the rabbinic court of Rabbi Vozner Shlit"a.*

Click here to continue reading.

Shoes and fashions

After completing my errands I decided to collect a sample of fashion photos with my new camera. I wanted a shot of the slutty, jewel-studded platform sandals in little girls' sizes, but was stopped by an owner unfamiliar with the concept, "There's no such thing as bad publicity."

All in all I think the religious fashions have improved over last year, although I wouldn't wear most of these necklines:
Click here to continue reading Shoes and Fashions.

Tunnel housing illegal Arab residents found near Petach Tikva shuk

In an attempt to find illegal residents of the Palestinian territories sleeping in Petach Tikvah, a tunnel was exposed near the local shuk (open-air market) containing 47 scattered mattresses.

Source: Ynet

By Einav Yosef-Zadeh
January 14, 2009

Tunnels, it appears, are not only for Gaza: In a campaign to find illegal residents early Tuesday morning in Petach Tikva, a tunnel was uncovered behind one of the stalls in the local shuk (open-air market) containing no fewer than 47 mattresses side by side. It seems that the tunnel was used as a residence.

Because of the sensitive situation created by the fighting in the south, the police decided to arrest illegal residents including workers from the Palestinian Authority with a work permit in Israel, and return them to the PA's territory. [MiI: As I understand, those apprehended have permits allowing them to work within the Green Line, but not to sleep over.]

Rafak Yaron Achrak, Lieutenant Commander of the Petach Tikva police station, told what led to the decision. "In the station there is regular activity to apprehend illegal residents. Unfortunately, the building boom in the city has increased their numbers, and because of the sensitive situation we have strengthened the campaign. [The illegal residents] see what is happening with the fighting and one can't know what is going on in another's head. In a crazed moment even someone without a criminal past could stab someone, and there have been many such cases."

Members of the city's committee for aesthetic improvement, headed by Tzvika Blumenshtik, helped the police with the campaign. Therefore, members of the committee joined the police in the campaign, that began with searches at 5:00 am, and helped them "shave" areas of growth that are used as hiding places.

"This was a joint action by the police, sanitation, and parks departments," said Blumenshtik. "At five in the morning there was a raid in two main places: The shuk, where we found illegal residents going underground and hiding, and at the Geha intersection."

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Questions to Ask When Choosing a School for Your Children

We're approaching the time of year when parents make decisions about schools for their children. With the oldest, some parents believe they will find the perfect school. But it's much more likely that they will have to make compromises. This post, geared toward choosing an elementary school, will help you think about the issues.

How to find information:

• Ask parents with children in the school. Keep in mind that their information will be biased. Once children are settled in a school, parents sometimes need to justify their decision to themselves and may minimize issues. They may also have an interest in encouraging parents to send to their school. And not all parents are equally aware of a school's internal problems.
• Ask parents who chose to send to different schools. I find that you can learn the most from parents who had children in a school you are considering, but pulled them out or chose a different school for subsequent children. Of course, such parents have their own biases. Sometimes they blame a school for issues that it could not control.
• Talk to teachers, volunteers, and others who have interaction with the schools. Do they have biases too? You bet.
• The school itself. Go to the open house for prospective parents, read its literature and website, visit classes, and schedule a meeting with the principal. A school may gloss over problems, but it's important to see how it presents itself to prospective parents.

Below are suggestions of questions to ask. You won't want to ask every question to every school, but you need to decide what matters to you. As you talk to other parents, you will get more ideas.

Technical concerns

• Location. Don't discount convenience. An extra hour of commuting is hard on the whole family and adds cost--make sure it's worth it. Or it may be a convenience, because it means less babysitting time. If your child will travel on a school bus, check that there is appropriate supervision and safety measures including seat belts and insurance.
  
• Facilities. Is the school clean, including the bathrooms? Is there room outside to play? Ask about a library, computers, and sports facilities.
• School schedule. Find out about half-days, afterschool programs, and extra-curricular activities.
  
• Fees. Include tuition, insurance, school supplies, meals, transportation, gifts for staff, and class activities. Ask if there are scholarships and how they are distributed.
  
• Class setup. How many kids are in a class? If there is more than one class in a grade, how are they divided? Will the class stay together, or are they redistributed each year? Are classes split up for certain subjects and if so, are they split randomly or by level?

General Concerns

• Violence, "behavior" problems, and learning issues. Despite strict admission standards, there will be kids who hit or disrupt class. You need to learn how the school deals with these issues. What is their policy regarding violence--and is the policy followed consistently? Can the school accommodate children with learning disabilities or giftedness? If the school employs a counselor or psychologist, how often are they present?
• Access. How easy is it to reach the school and talk to staff and are they pleasant? I've encountered schools that don't answer the phone, making me wonder how I could reach my child in an emergency.
  
• Atmosphere. How do you feel when you are in the school--tense or calm? What is happening in the halls--are kids running around or working quietly? Listen to the way the administration speaks with staff, and the staff with students. Is the principal or vice-principal on-site and accessible?
  
• Student body. How diverse is it? Even parents who value exposure to other lifestyles and cultures may draw the line at their child being the "only one" in a particular category. Will your child know anyone in his or her class? It's not necessary for a child to go with a large group but it helps to know one or two children from before. Are you comfortable with the parents in the school?
• Staff. Is recess well-supervised? What happens when a teacher can't come and a substitute isn't available? What are the teachers' qualifications? Do teachers send their own kids to the school? In a religious school, find out whether the school's outlook match that of the teachers and parent body.
  
• Management and organization. Look for a school where the staff works together, with the administration in control. Are parents notified of events well in advance, and if so, do the dates stick?
  
• Gender equality. If the school has separate classes for boys and girls, are there differences in class hours, facilities and curriculum?
• Curriculum. Find out what kids are learning, at all grade levels, and with what texts. How many teachers does the child see each week? Ask how much homework is expected per grade level? What methods are used and how are special needs accommodated?
  
• Graduates. Where do most of the students continue their studies?
• Admission standards. Who is admitted into the school? If there is testing, who administers it and are the tests used for any other purpose? Sometimes, standards are lowered for younger siblings of current students. This is one area where the school may not tell you the whole story.
  
• Does the school suit your child? You might prefer a prestigious school, but the child would suffer from too much academic pressure. A school that is right-wing religiously could create a conflict for a child whose family is less observant than the school standard.
  

So loyal readers, what is important to you when choosing a school? Let me know what I forgot.

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A long speech and a double-duty Torah reading

Chanting the Torah takes skill and preparation, so traditional synagogues assign someone to chant the weekly biblical portion. Sometimes members take turns, while some synagogues hire a professional. Lion of Zion is one such professional who often writes about the intricacies of the cantillation symbols.

My husband has been chanting, or "leining" as it is known in Yiddish, since before his bar mitzvah. He has prepared every portion at least once and tries to review each week, since he never knows when he will be called on in a pinch.

A few weeks ago he arrived in the synagogue to learn that the neighboring synagogue sought him as a last-minute replacement. My husband declined, as he was scheduled to read in ours. But when the rabbi got up to speak before the Torah reading, my husband decided to check if he was still needed. He asked our son to run and get him as soon as the rabbi finished.

He got to the second synagogue just as they were taking out the Torah scroll. They were glad to see him. I don't know whether he speeded up his pace or not [he just told me he did], but he returned in time to catch the last twenty minutes of the rabbi's speech.(*) Fortunately the rabbi has what to say.

(*)Depending on the length of the weekly portion, reading can take 20-40 minutes.
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Israeli Army Chaplains and Sabbath Observance

Our Shiputzim posted a letter about army chaplains accompanying soldiers to the Gaza front. The letter's author, YAR, and YAR's brother, one of the chaplains, are relatives of "Our Shiputzim."

I'll wait while you read it.

On Shabbat, our rabbi spoke about this incident and the question of Sabbath observance by chaplains. He maintained that there was absolutely no question that the chaplains were permitted to accompany the soldiers, Shabbat or not. Apparently the army employed Druze drivers (not mentioned in the letter quoted in Our Shiputzim) to minimize the violation of the Sabbath by Jews. The rabbi insisted that this was unnecessary.

Let us pray for the day when we will no longer need to ask this type of question.

Unfortunately, I have needed to post an updated list of injured soldiers and victims, including additional names. Thanks to those who have sent updates and corrections; I passed them on.

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Updates and list of injured soldiers and civilians

UPDATE February 10:
This blog has moved to AMotherInIsrael.com.
The latest update can be found at this link:
Update on Injured Soldiers and Civilians
If you came here from another website please notify the blogger or webmaster of the change.

I am reposting the following from an email list called Survival During Hard Times. Please send updates or corrections to mominisrael@gmail.com.

When Jews pray for the sick, they include the patient's Hebrew first (and middle) name, the word "ben" for son of or "bat" for daughter of, and the mother's Hebrew name.

Updated February 2, 2009

Please pray for our wounded soldiers and civilians. This list below is
incomplete. Please send us any more names that should be included
here, mother's names where missing, corrections and/or any other

updated info about the condition of these soldiers.

May we only hear good news and may they all be healed b'ezrat HaShem

(G-d willing).

Today Feb. 2, 2009, Army Radio announced that Aaron Yehoshua ben Chaya
Shoshana is being transferred from Intensive Care to rehabilitation BH.
He was the soldier who returned to his troops in Gaza the day after his
wedding and was seriously injured in his head. May HaShem continue to heal him and bless him with a long life, a happy marriage and healthy children.

The Yeshiva World » Update on Some of the IDF Wounded »
Frum Jewish News_

(http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/General+News/29686/Update+on+Some+f+the+ID F+Wounded.html)

Update on Some of the IDF Wounded
February 1, 2009

Following is a report on the condition of some of the wounded from the Gaza War.

2nd-Lt. Aaron Yehoshua ben Chaya Shoshana continues to astound physicians Baruch Hashem, and before Shabbos, he was able to ambulate with the assistance of a walker. If you remember, he sustained a serious head injury in the war and his prognosis was grim at best. Aaron made international news when his story broke, that he left his wife the morning after their wedding to return to his troops.

Dvir ben Leah 21, a Golani Brigade soldier, was critically wounded in the fighting. His father, Tzviki, reported on erev Shabbos that the family continues tefillos and remain hopeful as he shows very slight signs of improvement. Dvir’s family is calling on Am Yisrael to join in reciting tefillos and tehillim for their son on Tuesday, 9 Shvat (3 Feb) beginning after Mincha, at 5:20PM (Shkia). Tehillim prakim 13, 25, 30, 103, 112, and 142 will be recited.

Li’el Hoshea ben Miriam also sustained a serious head injury. In my last reported, I explained that following a day-long surgery, he opened his eyes and said a few words. I spoke with his father, Effie, on Sunday morning, and Li’el has since undergone three surgeries, with the latest yesterday, on Shabbos, lasting three hours. “It is really hard. I am trying to be strong but each surgery gives hope, but then there is another. His head is full of holes” states Effie in a tired voice. I asked how Chagit, Li’el’s young wife is doing. Effie told me he sent her with her parents to a hotel for Shabbos while he and his wife remained with Li’el.

Neriya ben Rivka was also seriously wounded and also in Soroka Medical Center, but in a different department that Li’el. He is reportedly speaking with his family.

(Yechiel Spira – YWN Israel)

This message was forwarded to us:

Netanel ben Mazel Tov, Israeli soldier wounded in his right arm and
leg, asks us to convey this message: "Thank you for all your prayers
for us soldiers. All the prayers help. May G-d repay you only good."
Then he beseeches us to pray for his buddy Ben, who needs prayers far
more than he does. Ben ben Batya is in critical condition.

Please pray for our wounded soldiers and civilians. Please send us
any more names that should be included here, mother's names where
missing, corrections and/or any other updated info about the
condition of these soldiers.

May we only hear good news and may they all be healed b'ezrat HaShem
(G-d willing).

Wounded Soldiers:

Gilad ben Aviva Shalit – soldier kidnapped by Hamas more than 3 years
ago & Hamas claims he was injured in Israeli air-raid. They also say
they are no longer interested in him. We don't know what has happened
to him or how.

Roi ben Dina – very seriously wounded 1 day before the cease fire;

Ben ben Katie – very seriously wounded 1 day before the cease fire;

Ido ben Rachel; - was almost d.o.a. on arrival at the hospital, but
BH is alive but in need of a lot of prayer;

Li'El Hoshea ben Miriam – critical (enoshot) head injuries See update above.

Wahal Mijan (Val Jenam?) – critical (enosh), has metal shards in his
brain, has had 3 operations & doctors are battling to save his life;

Ben ben Netiva – critical (enosh) with head injuries & has had 1 hand
amputated & doctors are battling to save his other hand;

Ben ben Batya - critical (enosh);

Neriya ben Rivka – very serious head injury; See update above.

Dvir ben Leah – very seriously injured legs and is not fully
conscious; See request above for special prayers.

Noam ben Aliza - one leg amputated; doctors fighting to save the
other;

Aharon Yehoshua ben Chaya Shoshana - He got married Thursday night.
Friday he went into Gaza. He was critically (enosh) injured head
injuries Jan. 12. He needs our tefillot desperately;
Re-gained consciousness 20.1.99 and has been removed from life-
support BH but has a way to go until full recovery. See update on top.

Yosef Chaim ben Ziva – very seriously injured on the entire left side
of his body- has regained consciousness BH but is still in intensive
care;

Mor Mordechai ben Orna – very serious leg injures;

Moshe ben Chana Malka – has had hand amputated;

Aviv ben "Sarah Imenu" – serious condition

Raphael ben Dina – was very seriously injured; no longer in life-
threatening danger after a successful operation BH but has a long
road ahead to full recovery;

Oren ben Ilana – seriously injured shoulder & hand – has had 1 finger
amputated;

Ronen Chai ben Leah – seriously injured;

Ron ben Havatzelet – seriously injured with shrapnel over all of his
body;

Eitan ben Sarah – very serious leg injury;

Gal ben Hedva – serious facial maxillary injuries from shrapnel;

Netanel ben Fanny – very seriously injured;

Nechemia Shalom Dov Ber ben Arlene - He is recuperating from an
operation to remove shrapnel that had exploded in his eye. He is in
stable
condition, with burns and bandages all over his face, head and arm.
The family asked that everyone say Tehilim for a complete recovery;

Avraham (Avi) Aharon ben Shoshana Raizel – moderately wounded Jan.
14, 2009 by anti-tank missile;

Yehoshua ben Naomi

Edward ben Sarah – serious hand injury;

Ran ben Merril – moderate shoulder injury;

Idan ben Nadi – moderate shrapnel injuries;

Yitzchak ben Navah - moderate shoulder injury;

Netanel ben Navah - moderate shrapnel wounds;

Netanel ben Mazal Tov – shrapnel wounds to legs, fractured right arm,
ear drum injury;

Geva ben Avital - moderately injured;

Rotem ben Leah; moderately injured;

Ohad ben Bracha – moderate facial injuries;

Or ben Rachel – Moderately injured;

Itai ben Rina – moderate abdominal injuries;

Ron ben Bailah – moderately injured;

Moshe ben Dinah – hand injuries;

Eran ben Batsheva – hand injuries;

Avishai ben Miriam – leg injuries;

Maxim ben Olga - light lower leg injury, operation to remove shrapnel;

Yisrael ben Ilana - light shrapnel injury to an ear;

Yo'ad Ido ben Frieda Elka- light shrapnel injuries;

Idan ben Liora - light shrapnel injuries;

Nadav ben Miriam (Maria) - light shrapnel injuries;

Sagi ben Osnat – light shrapnel injuries to his leg;

Tal ben Anat – leg injuries;

Omer ben Dorit – light shrapnel inuries to legs;

Lior ben Mazal – leg injuries from shrapnel;

Evgeny ben Elizabeth – leg injury;

Chaim Moshe Naftali ben Ruth Reizel – lightly injured

Shachaf ben Dalia – light hand injuries;

Tom ben Chana – hit by shrapnel in ribs next to lungs;

Yakov (Koby) ben Orly – facial injuries;

Yakov ben Yardena – neck and back injuries;

Gal ben Aliza – leg injuries;

Moshe ben Pnina Rose

Oleg ben "Sarah Imenu"

Daniel ben "Sarah Imenu"– shrapnel wounds near eyes;

Yaakov ben "Sarah Imenu"- hit by shrapnel in his neck that
miraculously missed his jugular vein BH;

Moshe ben Pnina Rose

Wounded civilians:

Or'El Ben Angela - age 7 son of Angela and Avi Alizrof who was
very seriously injured in GRAD attack in Beersheva today, Jan.
15.Doctors are battling to save his life. Both were riding in a car that took a direct hit and they were thrown out of the car seconds before the car blew up and caught on fire. Witnesses said it
was a miracle. Angela is a nurse in Soroka Hospital. Her little 7 year
old boy is very seriously injured with metal shrapnel in his head.

Moshe Refael ben Aliza Chaya – shot and badly wounded head by
terrorists Jan. 19 in Binyamin region

Gavriel ben Sarah from Sderot – child in severe shock from kassam
attack;
Yakov ben Rivka - very seriously injured from kassam rocket;
Bat El Hila bat Phoebe –age 31 seriously injured abdomen from kassam
rocket that fell in Netivot, has undergone 7 operations;
Gila bat Odelia – moderately injured by kassam attack in Netivot;
Gila bat Chana - age 56, shrapnel in back and severe post traumatic
shock from witnessing neighbor killed in kassam attack Netivot;
Yakov ben Miriam – 83 wounded rocket explosion suffering injuries to
left leg and blood vessels, also damage to hearing and sight;
Michael ben Anna, 23 seriously wounded left leg, has undergone 6
operations and will need at least 4 more;
Avi ben Chamo – about age 60, lightly injured shrapnel in cheek from
kassam fired on Sderot;

Kidnapped & Missing Soldiers:

Ron ben Batya (Arad)
Guy ben Rina (Hever)
Tzvi ben Pninah (Feldman),
Yekutiel Yehuda Nachman ben Sarah (Katz),
Zecharia Shlomo ben Miriam (Baumel
Majdi Halabi

Soldiers who Have Been Healed of their Wounds – Baruch HaShem (thank God)

Yedidya ben Shira
Elishama Shalom ben Rivka Leah

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Michael Pollan on food marketing sheds light on baby formula discussion

An interview on Alternet with best-selling author Michael Pollan (In Defense of Food) ties in to our recent discussion on breastfeeding and formula marketing. Emphasis mine:

Michael Pollan (MP): I remember my mother dutifully giving us all margarine instead of butter. She would say, "Some day they're going to figure out that butter is actually better for you than margarine," and we thought she was nuts. In fact, it turned out that margarine was lethal and butter is fine.

Alternet's Terence McNally (TMN): She was still feeding it to you suspecting that would happen...?

MP: The authority of mothers was essentially destroyed by the food industry. The $32 billion a year in marketing muscle out there has undercut culture's role in determining what we eat, and culture is a fancy word for your mom.

TMN: Just to emphasize that number, that's not the food industry, that's the food marketing industry.

MP: That's advertising, studying us, packaging, figuring out how to get us to eat more.

TMN: Food industry folks say, "We don't think we should regulate this sort of thing because Americans believe in individualism and free choice, but we're all for public education." So maybe we'll throw $100 million of education up against that $32 billion of marketing.

MP: $100 million is one snack food's annual budget. The entire USDA/FDA effort to educate people about food equals one chip. [laughs] There's no contest. They control the information about food.

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Pictures of Israeli Soldiers Treating Palestinian Weapon Smugglers

I received these pictures today along with the Hebrew text below.
For redistribution to all:
Pictures of Israeli soldiers rescuing Palestinians from a tunnel (used for smuggling weapons) in Gaza.
In the most moral army in the world, instead of blowing up the tunnel, they [the soldiers] rescue the one who is trying to kill you.
After smuggling weapons they [the Palestinians] receive:
Medical care, blankets, a cup of tea.
I remind you what the three reserve soldiers received when they went into Ramallah [in Samaria in the West Bank] . . . by mistake!!
That is the difference between us and the Palestinians.
[MiI: There were two. One of them lived several blocks from my home. When his wife got the news she went to stay with a family member living on our street. Even before the victim's name was announced we watched as the reporters gathered in front of the building. The two soldiers had been brutally tortured and murdered.]


New blog posts can be found at A Mother in Israel.

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Brother-in-law quoted in WSJ and a family party game

My brother-in-law wrote his report about our annual Chanukah party here. He has to be nice, because he knows I read his blog. (I even send him the occasional unsolicited suggestion.) It was my idea to blog about the dancing on the side of the road.

Aaron was quoted today in the Wall Street Journal, in an article on poems about the economic downturn:

Wall Street bards are also writing about the economy's victims. Aaron Katsman, a financial adviser, saw a panhandler on the New York City subway and penned "What's a Dime?" a four-stanza poem about the encounter:

He's probably just down on his luck,
What's wrong if I give him a buck?
I'd help out a friend who is stuck,
Perhaps he won't see me when I duck.

He posted the verse to his Web site and says "clients thought it was cute." It also helped ease the tense conversations about frantic markets. "People don't expect their licensed financial adviser to call up about the latest in iambic pentameter," Mr. Katsman says.

I guess this shows that you have to branch out if you want to be noticed. You can find the whole thing here.

At the party, my teenage niece wanted to play a game she had learned at her father's family's party, so her mother and I made up the game boards. Each team gets a paper with nine numbered squares, with each square containing a word or phrase. The items in each team's numbered squares match--i.e., they both fit into a particular category. For instance, if the category for square #1 is birds, Team A's page will say Robin and Team B's page will say Cardinal. The teams take turns guessing what is on the other team's board--the winner is the first to fill in the terms in other team's nine squares correctly. There's no need to guess or name the category, but broader categories make the game harder. Our categories included gates of the Old City, first names of cousins (we chose siblings but no one realized--there are 22 cousins so far), and flowers. The kids, especially the teenagers, were completely engaged.

It can be hard to find games for mixed age groups--Mafia works well. I would love suggestions for next year.


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Central Area Instructed to Prepare Shelters (awaiting confirmation)

Update: I'm still waiting for confirmation of this story. I haven't heard of a public announcement by the Homefront Command.

Breaking news via Jameel:

Update: There was no announcement about this on the 3:00 news.

2:04 PM IDF Homefront Command starts to distribute emergency directions for Rocket Attacks...in Tel Aviv. (source, see below for scanned copy)

With Hamas Rocket ranges now reaching 60 kilometers (as reported here at the Muqata, from Israel Radio), the IDF Homefront command has started preparing for the eventuality that Hamas rockets will reach the Tel Aviv area. Also included is the Beit Shemesh area, Modi'in, Ramla, Lod, Bnei Brak, Rechovot, Holon, Givaatayim, Petach Tikva...

That's us, folks.

UPDATE: Jameel calculates that Petach Tikva, where I live, is just outside of the sixty-kilometer range. So we are okay for today.

Ynet has more (now in English). I will try to update with more information during the day.

You can also follow my updates at Twitter.com. My user name is @mominisrael.


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Guest Post: Miracles of Motherhood

I've "known" Barbara for years, as the only other Jew on a message board we frequented. I didn't realize she had been reading this blog until she left a comment on the pizzeria post. I knew she had an interesting story, so I asked her to share. It's not only miraculous. It shows how a proactive and informed mother can cooperate with medical professionals to override standard procedures and policies and ensure optimal care.

It’s true what they say: all children are miracles-- just watch PBS’s NOVA that depicts the amazing process of pregnancy and birth. There are, however, stories that transcend the definition of miracle. I would like to share my two stories with you.

"What would you want to do THAT for?"
At age 29, I made the drastic decision to lift “the girls” up off my waist and put them back where they belong--in other words, breast reduction surgery. At the initial surgical consultation, the surgeon asked about children and breastfeeding, I told him that I didn’t think I’d ever have kids, but if I did, I wished to preserve my ability to breastfeed if I could. My mother, who had accompanied me, was dumbfounded. "What on earth would I want to do THAT for?" she asked. I ignored her, and the surgeon agreed to do the best he could. A little over a pound was removed from each breast. The surgery went well, and I was thrilled with my new lightweight, perky friends.

The first miracle
At 32 I (finally) got married, and three years later my husband and I decided to try and get pregnant. Two years’ worth of trying later, we found ourselves gearing up for a round of IVF when we got a call from the clinic. “Sorry, we’re going to have to cancel this round. You only have two small follicles, and that’s not enough for us to harvest.” Fed up with the nonsense (Clomid, 3 IUI’s, and now IVF) I declared, “That’s it…I quit…we’re just going to have a really good life without kids!” My husband agreed, and we decided not to go back for another round of IVF.

A couple of months later I went to my annual OB/GYN visit. I mentioned that I hadn’t had a period in a while (a problem I’d had intermittently since going off birth control several years earlier). The doctor offered to give me a prescription medication to “force a period” if I wanted. I told him no, but asked if he’d mind doing a couple of tests “just in case." So you remember what I said about children being miracles, right? It turns out that one of those “small follicles” that weren’t good enough for IVF harvesting got fertilized the old-fashioned way! My daughter, who apparently likes surprises and chaos, arrived a month early via c-section. She weighed only 5 lbs. 14 oz., healthy except for jaundice.

The breastfeeding miracle
The big question was: Would my artificially perky pals work? I had read as much as I could about BFAR (breastfeeding after reduction), but the bottom line was that I wouldn’t know until I tried. So I nursed. And I pumped (although I never got much using a pump). And I took Fenugreek. At her pediatrician’s insistence, we supplemented my daughter with formula, but I hated every moment of it. We kept up this crazy schedule for six weeks. Once she was past her jaundice issues and she had begun to put on weight I insisted on exclusive breastfeeding to see if it would work. The doctor was skeptical and thought it would be a huge failure (after all, the baby was taking the formula supplements, wasn’t she?), but after a nerve-wracking week that convinced me she was both starving and dehydrated, we discovered that she was perfectly fine and had gained weight. Breastfeeding worked! We never looked back and nursed for 18 months until my daughter quit on her own.

At her first birthday, I became convinced that my daughter needed a sibling. After a long anovulatory cycle, I was able to get pregnant again on my own. The baby was due around my daughter’s second birthday, but I assumed it would be a month early, just like the first. If only.

Another miracle: 500 grams
My second daughter was born via emergency c-section at 26 weeks – slightly more than three months early because of PPROM (pre-term premature rupture of the membranes). She weighed 500 grams (1 lb., 2 ozs.) and was only 11 inches long. Her head was the size of a peach, and she looked like a wrinkled old lady. Our family entered acronym hell: NICU, IUGR, PDA, ROP, PIP/PEEP, ETT, CLD, BPD and NG, to name a few. We were told that the NICU experience is like a roller coaster. Our experience was more like a very long climb up a steep mountain. We made progress, but with twisty trails and peril always at hand.

Micro-preemies are born without the ability to nurse. Even if they could, they wouldn’t have the energy. When they’re stable and ready to begin feedings, they’re given a nasal gavage (NG) tube that goes directly from their nose to their stomach and food is pushed through. (Prior to that, they receive TPN or Total Parenteral Nutrition through an IV line). Breastmilk is critical for micro-preemies because of their immature systems, so I expressed milk from the moment my daughter was born. I remember squeezing out colostrum drop by drop into a glass container while my aunt and cousin visited – I really didn’t care if it bothered them, my daughter needed liquid gold! I already knew my breasts were capable of supporting the nutritional needs of an infant, but I stunk at pumping.

I remembered reading about the drug Domperidone on a BFAR support board, so I ordered it from a pharmacy in New Zealand. The drug is not available in the US, and the FDA has actually issued a warning about it, but for me it was a lifesaver. With the help of the Medela Symphony pump, the NICU’s lactation consultants, and Domperidone, I was able to pump enough to meet my daughter’s base nutritional needs in the NICU. Because my daughter was so small, my breastmilk was fortified to increase its calorie content and help her put on weight. Infant formula, corn oil and polycose powder (a sugar) were added to bring the per-ounce calorie count to 32 kcal. My daughter never lost weight during her time in the NICU (truly amazing), and almost always gained weight. But I hated the fact that she had to have all these supplements.

So why is breastmilk so crucial to micro-preemies if they’re just going to add formula to it anyway? Well, according to these articles, (http://crystalblue.tripod.com/papers/nec-1.html#Massoni), (http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/05/02/1083436476738.html), breastmilk adapts to the needs of the premature infant. Preemies have delicate, immature intestinal systems and are prone to a deadly condition called necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC). Breastfeeding does not totally eliminate the risk of NEC, but it greatly reduces the incidence. In addition, breastmilk may help prevent sepsis, a deadly infection.

My daughter spent 3.5 months in the NICU. Thanks to a wonderful nurse, her first exposure was to my breast, not a bottle. She licked and was done, but the stage was set. Each time I visited and she was awake I put her to the breast until one day she actually gave a little suck. Slowly but surely she learned how to nurse, despite the fact that she was also learning how to bottle-feed (micro-preemies must be able to bottle 100% of their feeds without negative incidents before being released). After her release we had to continue with the high-calorie supplements, but she still nursed once a day and I continued pumping. Because she was gaining weight beautifully I was able to convince her pediatrician that we needed to start dropping the supplementation. One by one, each of the offending supplements (oil, sugar, and formula) were dropped from her diet until I found myself nursing her exclusively and we never looked back.

My daughter weaned herself when she was 2.5 years old. At 5.5 she’s experienced numerous health challenges (multiple pneumonias, RSV, immune deficiencies, vision and ear difficulties), but all her doctors agree that she’s done amazingly well. One huge hurdle remains: she has been diagnosed with autism, but as each day passes we see more and more progress. She’s smart, sweet, strong, and solid. She and her older sister are truly my miracles.
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