On Ynet, Yael Mishali writes about meeting with the parents and teachers of her son's seventh-grade class at the yeshiva high school Nechalim. One mother asked that the yeshiva officially oppose mixed dancing at bar mitzvah celebrations, so that the boys can avoid temptation. The mother asserted that mixed dancing is not in the "spirit of the yeshiva."
Mishali dislikes the mother's superior tone. She goes on to describe the various ways she has seen parents send the message that families less stringent in some areas are inferior and should not be associated with. This could be because the mother doesn't cover her hair, they watch Power Rangers, or even that the family waits "only" three hours between meat and dairy. She has watched as parents set up "torani" ganim (kindergartens) and schools, requiring strict levels of kashrut certification and more religious studies (she mentions requiring learning parshat shavua (weekly Torah portion) with Rashi's commentary -- in gan).
She ends by saying that she chose this yeshiva because it did not require a stringent dress code for parents. She suggests that the mother in question teach her child to avoid temptation instead of expecting others to accommodate him. He'll be meeting these challenges in the real world, and temptations of all types abound even in the most stringent yeshiva environment.
It's distressing to see our community focus on subtle differences and use them to exclude others. In one elementary school interview, a neighbor's suitability was questioned because the husband studied in Yeshivat Har Etzion (considered the left of the political/religious spectrum). Do we need different (elementary!) schools for children of parents who want their children to attend Har Etzion, and those who aspire toward Merkaz Harav?
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