My older sister, a long-time fan of this blog, sent me some suggestions for raising Orthodox girls (but they could apply to anyone) and challenged me to add a few of my own. Hers are marked with an asterisk.
- *Be educated and self-confident enough to know that you can support yourself if necessary.
- *If someone tells you that you are no good, *they* are no good for you.
- *Stay away from leaders/teachers who tell you that the rules apply to you but not to them, especially in the realms of money, sex, and abuse/violence.
- Don't be alone in a room with a man. Rabbis and teachers also need to observe laws of yichud.
- Don't be afraid to ask questions, and to ask for help.
- *Develop skills to talk about problems that are "too embarrassing to talk about."
- *Work actively to establish a set of friends, family, therapist, rabbi, blog, whatever -- where you can talk safely about those problems.
- When you think you have "no choice," you're probably wrong.
- Learn, and know how to look things up for yourself.
- You don't have to be like everyone else. God made us all different for a reason.
|